How Autism Affects Your Friendships (And Why That’s Okay)

Last Updated on August 9, 2025 by John Hookway

Friendship is not the same for everyone, but autism can change how it works. Some autistic people like to bond over hobbies or jokes.

They may not enjoy deep emotional talks as much. Many feel safe when others accept how they act with friends.

If you want to help your autistic friends, use simple words. Listen carefully and be patient. Celebrate what makes each person special.

Key Takeaways

• Autistic people may talk and connect in different ways. Using clear words helps everyone understand. Being patient can help friendships grow strong.
• Sensory sensitivities can make social places feel hard. Telling friends your needs can help a lot. Picking quiet places can make time with friends easier.
• Friendships grow best when you share interests. Being honest and yourself is important. You should not feel forced to change who you are.
• Both autistic and non-autistic friends can help each other. Listening and respecting boundaries is important. Celebrate what makes each person special.
• Taking small steps can help you make friends. Try joining clubs or asking direct questions. Practice social skills to keep good friendships.

Autism and Social Communication

Social Cues

You might notice that understanding social cues can feel tricky. Many autistic people find it hard to read body language, facial expressions, or tone of voice.

Sometimes, you may not catch a joke or know when someone wants to change the topic. This is common. Research shows that autistic adults often have different ways of building friendships.

You may feel more comfortable with friends who share your experiences or who also have autism. Some people plan social activities in advance or choose places where social rules are clear, like movies or concerts. Online friendships can also feel easier because you have more time to think before you respond.

If you feel unsure about what someone means, it’s okay to ask them directly. Clear questions help everyone understand each other better.

Communication Styles

You might prefer to communicate in your own way. Maybe texting feels safer than talking face-to-face. Some people use assistive technology or write messages instead of speaking.

You may notice that you speak very directly, while others use hints or sarcasm. This difference can cause confusion. Non-autistic friends might think you sound blunt, but you just want to be honest.

Both sides can feel misunderstood. This is called the double empathy problem. It helps to talk openly about how you like to communicate. Sharing your needs builds trust and makes friendships stronger.

Try these steps to make communication easier:

• Tell your friends if you need more time to answer.
• Ask them to be clear and avoid using too many jokes or idioms.
• Let them know if you prefer texting or another method.

Sensory Factors

Group settings can feel overwhelming if you have sensory sensitivities. Loud noises, bright lights, or crowded rooms might make you anxious or tired.

Some people need headphones or breaks to feel comfortable. Studies show that sensory challenges can make it harder to join group activities or notice social cues.

For example, if you have trouble with loud sounds, you might miss what someone says in a busy place. Touch can also feel uncomfortable, so hugs or handshakes may not feel right for you.

It’s important to let your friends know about your sensory needs. You can suggest quieter places to meet or ask for breaks when you need them.

Friendship Challenges

Making Friends

It can be tough to make friends. Many autistic people find this hard. You might worry about saying something wrong.

Joining a conversation may feel confusing. Sometimes, you feel nervous about being judged or rejected. Bad experiences in the past can make you careful.

Here are some problems you might have:

• It is hard to show your feelings or know how others feel.
• Reading faces or body language can be tricky.
• You might feel nervous and want to avoid new people.
• You may be scared to open up if people misunderstood you before.
• Loud or busy places can be too much for your senses.

Try these ideas to help:

• Find friends who like the same things as you. Talking about hobbies can make you feel safe.
• Take your time to trust people. You do not need to talk about deep things right away.
• Pick quiet places or online groups where you feel calm.
• Ask clear questions if you do not understand someone.

You do not have to change yourself to make friends. Being yourself helps you find people who like you.

Maintaining Connections

Keeping friends can be hard too. You might forget to call or message people. Some autistic people like routines and may not remember to reach out. Small talk can be confusing. You may not know how often to meet friends.

You and your friends may want different things. You might like being honest and direct. Your friend may use hints or soft words. This can cause confusion or hurt feelings.

Let’s see how friendship can be different:

You can keep friendships strong by:

• Talk about what you need and what feels okay.
• Set reminders to check in with friends.
• Do things together instead of just talking.
• Ask your friends how they like to talk.

Friendships do not have to be the same for everyone. The most important thing is respect and understanding.

Social Overwhelm

Being with groups or in noisy places can feel too much. Bright lights or loud sounds may make you want to leave. You might spend less time with friends or skip activities.

Here is a chart that shows how often autistic youth and adults feel alone:

You can feel overwhelmed because of misunderstandings. You might miss small clues or not know when someone is upset. Speaking directly can sound rude to others. Friends may not get why you need breaks or avoid some places.

If you feel overwhelmed, you can take a break. Tell your friends what helps you feel better.

Some people think autistic people do not want friends. This is not true. You may care about honesty, loyalty, and shared interests more than small talk or big groups.

You can make better friendships by:

• Tell friends how you like to talk.
• Ask for patience and understanding.
• Do things that feel safe and fun.
• Remember that everyone needs different things in friendships.

Strengths in Autism Friendships

Shared Interests

You can build strong friendships by sharing hobbies and passions. Many autistic people find it easier to connect with others who like the same things.

You might join a club, play games, or talk about your favorite topics. These shared interests help you feel comfortable and accepted.

Research shows that group activities, like Lego clubs or coding classes, give you a safe space to meet friends and practice social skills.

Online groups also let you connect with people who understand your interests. You do not have to worry about small talk or pretending to be someone else.

Try joining a group or club that matches your favorite hobby. You will meet people who enjoy the same things and feel less anxious.

Loyalty and Honesty

You bring loyalty and honesty to your friendships. Many autistic people care deeply about their friends and show strong commitment. You might always tell the truth and avoid pretending.

Friends know they can trust you because you say what you mean. Studies highlight that autistic individuals often provide steady support and genuine care.

You may not have many friends, but the ones you have are close and meaningful. Your honesty helps build trust and makes your friendships last.

Autistic friends often:

• Stay loyal and dependable
• Give honest advice
• Support friends through tough times
• Value fairness and justice

Authenticity

You value being yourself in friendships. Many autistic people prefer real connections over fake ones. You do not hide your feelings or act just to fit in.

This authenticity helps you find friends who accept you as you are. Research shows that autistic friendships may look different, but they are just as meaningful.

You might focus more on doing things together than talking about feelings. That is okay. Your friendships can be deep and rewarding, even if they do not follow typical social rules.

Being honest and true to yourself helps you find the right friends. You do not need many friends—just ones who respect and understand you.

How to Build Friendships

Tips for Autistic People

Making friends can seem hard, but there are easy ways to try. You do not need to change yourself. You can find people who like you and share your hobbies.

• Join clubs or online groups that match what you like. Doing things you enjoy helps you meet others.
• Practice social skills in places where you feel safe. You can try role-playing, reading social stories, or watching videos of yourself.
• Use clear words when you talk. If you feel tired or need a break, tell someone.
• Try activities with rules, like board games or coding classes. These let you join in without too much stress.
• Ask mentors, teachers, or therapists for help if you get stuck.
• Use your phone or a calendar to remind you to talk to friends.
• Remember your strengths. You are honest, loyal, and have special ideas.

You can get better at social skills by practicing at home, school, or in your town. Every small step helps you grow.

Tips for Non-Autistic Friends

You can help autistic friends feel welcome and part of the group. Friendships work best when you are patient and kind.

• Ask your autistic friend to join group activities, but it is okay if they say no.
• Speak clearly and simply. Do not use sarcasm or confusing jokes.
• Listen well and give them more time to answer.
• Ask about their sensory needs. Pick quiet places or let them take breaks.
• Celebrate what makes your friend different.
• Help them at school, with friends, or with feelings.
• Do not guess what they mean. If you are unsure, ask them.
• Suggest doing things together that you both enjoy.

You can help a lot by being open and nice. Small things you do can help your friend feel accepted.

Setting Boundaries

Boundaries keep you safe and happy with friends. You can set boundaries by using clear words or signals. You do not have to explain everything or feel bad for saying no.

• Tell your friends what feels okay for you. You can say, “I need quiet time,” or “I do not like hugs.”
• Use messages or signals if talking is hard.
• Set boundaries early so there is no confusion later.
• Stay strong if someone tries to push your limits. Repeat what you need in a calm way.
• Write scripts or notes to help you say your boundaries.
• Do not feel guilty. Your comfort is important.
• If someone does not listen to your boundaries, you can see them less.

Boundaries are good for you. They help you stay healthy and make friendships stronger.

Fostering Inclusion

Inclusion means everyone feels welcome and part of the group. You can help make spaces better for autistic friends by making small changes.

• Pick places for group activities that are quiet and not too bright.
• Use clear words and give extra time for answers.
• Teach others about autism. Share facts and stories to help people understand.
• Ask people to think about how it feels to be overwhelmed or left out.
• Support programs where peers help each other. These help autistic people feel more confident.
• Plan activities like art or music groups where everyone can join.
• Ask for rules at school or in your town that help everyone feel included.
• Celebrate what makes people different. Focus on what people are good at, not just what is hard.

Inclusion starts with you. When you welcome and help autistic friends, everyone feels like they belong.

Friendships are not always the same for everyone. You can make strong friendships by focusing on what is important. Good friends help you feel safe and accepted.

They respect how you connect with others. Many people think shared interests and understanding make friendships better. Using patience and clear words helps everyone feel included.

Celebrate what makes people different. Try the tips in this guide. Small changes can help you make lasting and happy friendships.

FAQ

How can you tell if an autistic friend wants to hang out?

You might notice your friend talks about shared interests or asks to do activities together. Sometimes, they show interest in their own way. If you feel unsure, just ask them directly. Clear questions help both of you understand each other better.

What should you do if your autistic friend needs a break during social time?

Give your friend space without making them feel bad. You can say, “Take your time. I’ll be here when you’re ready.” Respect their need for quiet or alone time. This helps your friend feel safe and understood.

How can you include an autistic friend in group activities?

• Choose quieter places with less noise.
• Give clear instructions about what will happen.
• Ask your friend what activities they like.
• Let them join at their own pace.

Including your friend helps everyone have more fun!

What if you accidentally upset your autistic friend?

Say sorry and ask what you can do to help. Use simple words. Listen to their feelings. You can ask, “Did I say something wrong?” or “How can I make it better?” Honest talk helps fix misunderstandings.

Can autistic people have close friendships?

Absolutely! Many autistic people form deep, loyal friendships. These friendships might look different, but they are just as real. Shared interests, honesty, and trust make these bonds strong. You can help by accepting your friend’s unique way of connecting.