How to Build Social Skills in Children with Developmental Delays

You can help your child build social skills. This is true even if they have developmental delays. Many families go through this. About 17% of kids in the U.S. have at least one developmental delay.

Getting help early really matters. Studies show that if you help and start soon, your child can make friends more easily. They can feel more confident.

They can do better in school. Building social skills helps your child talk to others. These skills help your child grow every day.

Every small step helps. You can help your child do well.

Key Takeaways

• Begin helping your child with social skills early. Early help makes it easier to make friends and feel confident.
• Set up a routine and keep things organized. This helps your child feel safe and ready to learn new social skills.
• Use pictures and charts to show what will happen. These tools help your child understand social situations better.
• Show your child how to say hello and share with others. Kids learn by watching you, so be a good role model.
• Cheer for every small success. Giving praise helps your child feel confident and want to keep trying.

Social Challenges

Common Difficulties

You may see your child have social problems. These problems can look different for each child. Children with developmental delays often:

• Have a hard time reading social cues, like faces or voices
• Find it tough to start talking or join group games
• Struggle to keep a conversation going with others
• Get upset quickly, especially if plans change
• React strongly when routines are different
• Have longer tantrums in busy places

Your child might want to play but not know how to join. Sometimes, they play near others but not with them. This can make making friends hard.

Children with developmental delays often stay in early social stages longer than others. They may not learn social rules as fast. This can make them feel lonely or left out.

Look for small wins, like eye contact or sharing. These moments are important!

Impact on Development

Social problems can affect your child’s growth in many ways. If children miss out on social time, they may feel more stress. This can cause anger, pulling away, worry, or acting out. Over time, these problems can make learning new skills harder.

• Children without enough help may fall behind in thinking and movement skills.
• Weak social skills can make it hard to feel brave and do things alone.
• Kids with social problems often feel alone, which can hurt their happiness and self-worth.

Culture matters too. Some families care more about group support and safety. Others may think different milestones are important. These beliefs can change how you help your child grow socially.

Remember, every child’s journey is different. Your help lets them move forward, step by step.

Build Social Skills

Helping your child build social skills takes time and effort. You need to be patient and creative. Planning ahead can help a lot. You can make a big difference by using strategies that work for children with developmental delays. Here are some ways to get started:

Structured Environment

Children do better when they know what will happen. You can help by making routines and clear rules. This helps your child feel safe and ready to learn. Try to keep daily activities in the same order. Use simple words to tell your child what comes next.

• Make a quiet area for play and learning. Fewer distractions help your child pay attention.
• Use routines for meals, play, and bedtime. Schedules that stay the same help your child feel sure of themselves.
• Plan group games or activities with easy steps. This gives your child a safe place to practice taking turns and sharing.

Activities like role-playing or group games help your child feel safe while trying new things. These activities also help your child feel more sure and less worried.

Visual Supports

Visual supports help make social situations easier to understand. Many children with developmental delays learn best when they can see what to do.

• Use picture schedules to show what will happen.
• Try first-then boards to help your child know what comes next.
• Show photos or symbols to explain feelings, actions, or choices.
• Use social stories or video modeling to teach social rules and routines.

You can also use choice boards to let your child pick what to do. This helps your child feel in control and more willing to join in.

Modeling Behaviors

You are your child’s first teacher. When you show social behaviors, your child learns by watching you. Show how to greet others, take turns, or say “thank you.” Use simple actions and words.

Modeling helps your child learn new skills. It works best when you use it with other strategies like prompting and positive reinforcement. Modeling alone may not help your child learn to use social skills on their own, but it is a good way to start.

Try these ideas:

• Act out simple greetings or sharing with toys.
• Watch short videos together that show children playing or talking.
• Invite siblings or friends to join and show friendly behavior.

Explicit Teaching

Some children need to be taught social skills step by step. Break each skill into small parts. Use clear words and practice often.

Role-playing is very helpful. You can pretend to meet a new friend or practice what to do if someone teases your child. This makes learning fun and less scary.

Reinforcement

Children learn best when you notice and reward their efforts. Positive reinforcement means you praise or reward your child when they use a social skill. This could be a high-five, a favorite activity, or a small treat.

• Celebrate small wins, like making eye contact or saying hello.
• Use a sticker chart or token board to track progress.
• Give specific praise, such as “Great job sharing your toy!”

Positive reinforcement helps your child want to keep trying. It also makes learning feel warm and supportive.

Sensory Needs

Many children with developmental delays have special sensory needs. Some may like certain sounds or movements, while others avoid them. Sensory problems can make social situations harder.

• Watch for signs your child feels overwhelmed, like covering ears or avoiding eye contact.
• Offer breaks or quiet spaces during group activities.
• Use sensory-friendly toys or tools, like fidget spinners or weighted blankets.

Meeting your child’s sensory needs helps them feel calm and ready to join in. When your child feels comfortable, they are more likely to build social skills and connect with others.

Activities and Opportunities

You can use many activities to help your child build social skills:

• Role-playing: Practice greetings, sharing, or asking for help in a safe space.
• Social stories: Read or make simple stories that show how to handle different social situations.
• Technology and apps: Try games or apps that teach emotions, turn-taking, or conversation skills. Some apps let your child take photos and talk about them, which helps with language and social understanding.

Give your child chances to interact with others:

• Set up playdates with one or two children. Keep them short and planned.
• Join group activities, like story time at the library or a music class.
• Encourage your child to join in family games or chores.

Playdates and group activities help your child practice new skills, build confidence, and make friends. These experiences also teach flexibility and resilience.

Remember, you play a big part in helping your child build social skills. Early support, clear guidance, and lots of encouragement will help your child grow and do well.

Encouraging Peer Connections

Facilitating Interactions

You can help your child connect with other kids. Start by creating chances for your child to play with peers. Invite one or two children for a short playdate.

Keep the activities simple and familiar. You might notice your child needs a little help to join in. That’s okay! You can guide them by showing how to greet others or share toys.

Here are some ways you can make peer interactions easier:

• Invite typically developing peers for free-play. This helps your child see and practice social skills in real time.
• Use teacher or adult support during play. You can prompt your child to take turns or ask questions. Over time, fade your help so your child learns to do it alone.
• Try structured social skills games. Use scripts or role-play to practice saying hello, asking to play, or handling small problems.
• Practice empathy. Talk about feelings and pretend to be in someone else’s shoes. This helps your child understand how others feel.
• Work on communication. Practice both talking and using gestures in group games.

Your involvement matters. When you join in or talk about social skills at home, your child learns faster.

Supporting Friendships

Friendships help your child feel included and happy. You can support these bonds by giving your child more chances to meet and play with others. Look for group activities where your child can meet new friends, like story time or art class.

You can also:

• Encourage play with children who have strong social skills. These peers can model good behavior and help your child learn.
• Use structured activities to help your child and others work together. Games with clear rules make it easier for everyone to join in.
• Talk about what makes a good friend. Discuss kindness, sharing, and listening.
• Celebrate every step. Even small moments, like a smile or a wave, show progress.

Both one-way and two-way friendships help your child grow. More time with peers leads to better social skills and more balanced play. When you help your child build social skills, you open the door to lasting friendships.

Tracking Progress

Setting Goals

You want your child to grow, so setting the right goals matters. Start by making goals that fit your child’s needs and daily life.

Work with teachers, therapists, and family members to decide what your child should learn next. Use a team approach. Everyone brings a different view, and together you can pick the most important skills.

Here’s a table to help you remember best practices for setting social skills goals:

Pick goals that you can see and measure, like “greet a peer with a wave” or “join a group game for five minutes.” Start with simple skills and build up to harder ones. Always check if your child’s sensory needs affect their social skills.

Monitoring Improvement

You need to know if your child is making progress. Use tools like progress charts, checklists, or even a “Success Wall” at home. Try using structured routines and play-based activities. These help you see how your child uses new skills in real life.

• Watch for small changes, like more eye contact or joining a game.
• Use assessment tools such as the Battelle Developmental Inventory or SEAM to track growth.
• Keep notes or photos of your child’s achievements.
• Stay involved. Your support makes a big difference.

If you notice your child struggles with things like smiling, making eye contact, or joining games, talk to your team. Early intervention and therapies like play or behavioral therapy can help your child build social skills.

Celebrating Success

Every step forward deserves a celebration! When your child tries a new skill, show excitement. Use verbal praise, like “Great job sharing!” or “You worked hard on that puzzle!” Give small rewards or plan a special activity for big milestones.

• Create a progress chart or achievement jar to show growth.
• Organize a family celebration for reaching a goal.
• Recognize every effort, no matter how small.

Celebrating small wins boosts your child’s confidence and keeps them motivated to keep learning.

You can help your child grow by using structured routines, visual supports, and step-by-step teaching. Stay patient and keep showing up—research shows that steady support and consistency help children build social and language skills.

• Celebrate every small win, like a new word or a shared smile. These moments boost your child’s confidence and make learning fun.
• Remember, many children have made big progress with early help and family support.

Every effort counts. You’re making a real difference in your child’s journey. Keep going—you’ve got this!

FAQ

What if my child doesn’t want to join group activities?

Try starting with one-on-one play. Invite a familiar friend. Use favorite toys or games. Keep sessions short. Praise any effort to join. You can slowly add more kids as your child feels comfortable.

How do I handle setbacks or slow progress?

Setbacks happen. Stay patient. Celebrate small wins. Adjust goals if needed. Talk with teachers or therapists for new ideas. Remember, every child learns at their own pace.

Can technology help my child build social skills?

Yes! You can use apps and games that teach emotions, sharing, or conversation. Choose simple, interactive tools. Play together and talk about what you see. Technology can make learning fun.

How do I know which social skills to teach first?

Watch your child during play. Notice what they struggle with most. Start with basic skills like greeting, sharing, or taking turns. Ask teachers or therapists for advice. Build up from there.

What should I do if my child gets overwhelmed in social settings?

Look for signs like covering ears or wanting to leave. Offer breaks or quiet spaces. Use calming tools like fidget toys. Prepare your child before events. You can leave early if needed.