How to Be Kind to Autistic People

Last Updated on August 11, 2025 by John Hookway

Being kind to autistic people means you show respect and understanding. You should be patient and try to truly listen to them every time you talk.

About 1 in 127 people worldwide are autistic, so you likely know someone on the spectrum. Use simple, clear words and help them with what they need.

Always be kind by considering your own thoughts and actions, and be ready to learn from autistic individuals. Remember, to be kind means accepting others as they are without making assumptions.

To be kind, focus on what the person needs, not what you want.

Key Takeaways

• Be respectful and patient. Listen closely and use easy words when you talk with autistic people.
• Do not use stereotypes. Learn real facts about autism. This helps you support and accept autistic people for who they are.
• Respect what people like and their boundaries. Ask what makes someone feel good. Give them space if they need it.
• Help with sensory needs. Make calm and quiet places. Change activities to lower stress and help everyone join in.
• Include autistic people. Invite them to join. Respect their choices. Help them be independent.

Myths and Facts

Common Stereotypes

You may hear things about autistic people that are not true. These false ideas can make life tough for autistic people and their families.

Here are some common stereotypes:

• Some people think autistic individuals do not care about others. Many autistic people feel emotions strongly and care deeply, but they might show it in different ways.
• Some believe autistic people cannot have loving relationships. This is wrong. Autistic people can have close friends and romantic partners, just like anyone else.
• There is a myth that autistic people are violent. Studies show they are not more violent than other people. Sometimes, they react strongly when they feel overwhelmed, but this is not the same as being violent.
• Many people think all autistic people are geniuses or have special skills. Some do, but most have different abilities, just like everyone else.
• People often think autism only affects boys or white people. Autism affects people of all genders and backgrounds.
• Some believe autistic people cannot talk or communicate. Many can, but they might use pictures or devices to help.

Stereotypes can cause autistic people to feel left out, have low self-esteem, and even mental health problems. You can help by speaking up when you hear these myths.

The Truth About Autism

Let’s see what science and autistic people say about autism:

Autistic people feel many emotions. They can make choices, solve problems, and have special strengths like noticing details or thinking creatively.

Autism groups remind us to respect autistic people’s differences and to support each person as an individual.

Listen and Respect

Value Preferences

You can be kind by listening to what autistic people like. Everyone does things in their own way. Some autistic people like quiet places.

Others enjoy talking about what they love. When you respect what they like, they feel safe and important.

Research shows that supporting autistic people’s choices helps them feel less worried. They feel more sure of themselves. They do better with friends and feel happier.

The neurodiversity movement says we should care about what autistic people want. We should not only think about what others want. This means you should ask if they are comfortable. Let them decide when they can.

If you do not know what someone likes, just ask. You can say, “Would you like to join us?” or “Is this okay for you?” This can help a lot.

You can also help by giving more space. Make sure the place feels good for them. This helps everyone feel less stressed and included.

Honor Boundaries

Respecting boundaries is a big part of being kind to autistic people. Boundaries can be about space, touch, or talking.

Here are some ways to respect boundaries:

• Give clear and simple reasons for what is happening.
• Use pictures or stories to explain consent and space.
• Show respect by knocking or asking before touching.
• Give alone time if someone needs a break.
• Change lights, sounds, or textures if needed.
• Ask often if boundaries need to change.

Everyone can say no. When you respect this, you build trust. This helps autistic people feel safe.

When you listen and respect boundaries, autistic people can be themselves. This is a great way to be kind every day.

Communicate Clearly

Talking clearly helps you connect with autistic people. You can help a lot by using clear words and being patient. Let’s see how you can do this every day.

Use Simple Language

Autistic people sometimes have trouble with communication. You might notice they talk or understand words in different ways.

Here are some common challenges:

You can help by using simple and direct words. Say what you mean. Do not use jokes, idioms, or sarcasm.

Research shows autistic people feel less worried when you use clear words. If someone seems confused, break things into small steps. Ask if they want you to repeat or explain.

After you talk, pause. Give them time to think about your words.

Be Patient

Being patient is important when you talk with autistic people. Sometimes, they need more time to answer or think.

Studies show that if you are not patient, autistic people can feel stressed or embarrassed. If you hurry, you might not hear what they want to say.

Here are ways to show patience:

• Wait quietly after you ask something.
• Use short and clear questions, not long ones.
• Let them finish talking before you speak.
• Offer breaks if talking feels too much.

When you are patient, autistic people feel safe and respected. You help them trust you and share more. Slowing down and listening shows you care.

Support Sensory Needs

Helping with sensory needs is a big way to be kind to autistic people. You can help by making places and activities feel good for everyone.

Create Safe Spaces

About 90% of autistic people have sensory sensitivities. These can affect how they see, hear, smell, taste, touch, balance, or feel their bodies.

You might see someone cover their ears or avoid bright lights. Some may not want to eat certain foods. These actions are not bad behavior. They are ways to handle too much sensory input.

You can make safe spaces by:

• Using soft lights instead of bright or flashing ones.
• Making rooms quieter with carpets or curtains.
• Giving noise-canceling headphones or quiet areas.
• Offering comfy seats and weighted blankets.
• Keeping rooms neat and not messy.
• Using calm colors like blue or green.

Ask autistic people what makes them comfortable. What they say is important.

Hospitals and schools often use these ideas. Workers learn about sensory needs and use picture schedules. You can do this at home, too. When you make places sensory-friendly, you help lower stress and worry. People feel safer and more welcome.

Adapt Activities

Some activities are hard for autistic people if they cause sensory overload. Occupational therapists say to break tasks into small steps and use picture schedules.

You can also:

• Pick activities with soft lights and quiet sounds.
• Give sensory tools like fidget toys or weighted vests.
• Use games to teach new things.
• Let people move, rock, or take breaks when needed.
• Add calm music or deep pressure activities.

Here are some sensory needs you might see:

• Hypersensitivity: bright lights, loud sounds, strong smells, or rough textures can bother them.
• Hyposensitivity: they may want to move, feel deep pressure, or taste strong flavors.

You can work with families and autistic people to find what helps. When you change activities, you help everyone join in and feel happy. You support independence, help with feelings, and let everyone take part.

Be Kind in Action

Build Connection

You can make real friendships with autistic people by caring about what they like. Invite them to join talks and fun things.

Ask what they enjoy and listen when they talk. You might not always get why something matters to them. But being patient and curious helps you both feel good.

• Spend time together doing things you both like. You can play games, draw, or talk about hobbies.
• Use clear plans or schedules for meeting up. This helps everyone know what will happen and feel less worried.
• Try joining clubs or groups with shared interests. These places make talking and making friends easier.
• Accept different ways of talking, like stimming or using devices. These ways are normal and help autistic people feel okay.

“It feels great when we meet up. Autistic spaces are more accepting than other places. It’s nice to see people stimming and not feeling shy.”

You can help by making new places less scary. Change things slowly and give time to get used to them. If someone seems stressed, offer a quiet place or a break. Staying calm and helpful shows you care.

Here are some ways to connect:

When you are kind and connect like this, autistic people feel happy and accepted. Friendships get stronger when you both have fun together.

Include and Empower

Including means making sure autistic people feel welcome and important everywhere. You can do this by inviting them to group things, asking what they think, and respecting their choices. Empowering means helping autistic people speak up and make their own choices.

• Let autistic people pick how they want to join in. Some may want to watch first before joining.
• Help them speak up for themselves. Support them in saying what they need or want.
• Celebrate their strengths and wins, even small ones.
• Use pictures or notes to help them understand and be independent.
• Respect their right to say “no” or ask for changes.

Always ask what someone likes and listen to their answer. This shows respect and helps them feel sure of themselves.

Studies show that when you include and empower autistic people, their mental health and self-esteem get better. They feel more sure and ready to try new things.

Doing things together, like volunteering or joining a club, makes it easier to make friends. These activities help everyone feel like they belong.

You can also help autistic people during hard times. If someone feels stressed, turn down the lights, make things quieter, or give sensory tools.

Give them more time to answer. Let them use other ways to talk, like writing or pictures. These small things show you respect their choices and feelings.

• Speak calmly and clearly.
• Allow breaks when needed.
• Respect their choices and independence.
• Welcome support people if they want one.

When you are kind by including and empowering autistic people, you help them grow, feel safe, and be more independent. You also make your community better and more welcoming for everyone.

You can learn more about autism by listening to autistic people. Try using resources like the Autistic Self Advocacy Network. You can also listen to podcasts made by autistic people.

Start with small changes to make everyone feel included. Change your routines to help each person’s needs. Notice if someone has sensory needs and give them time to rest.

When you are kind and accept differences, autistic people feel safe. They also feel important. Keep listening, changing, and helping every day.

Be kind and accepting every time you talk to someone. What you do really matters.

FAQ

How do you ask an autistic person about their needs?

Just ask directly and kindly. You can say, “Is there anything I can do to help you feel comfortable?” Most people appreciate when you check in with them. Listen to their answer and respect what they say.

What should you do if an autistic person seems overwhelmed?

Stay calm and speak softly. Offer a quiet space or ask if they want a break. You can say, “Would you like to step outside or take a moment?” Giving choices helps them feel safe.

How can you include autistic people in group activities?

Invite them to join and explain what will happen. Use clear steps or a simple schedule. If they say no, respect their choice. You can always ask again another time.

What if you don’t understand their way of communicating?

Be patient and open. You can ask, “Can you show me another way?” Some people use pictures, devices, or gestures. Let them take their time. Your patience shows you care.

Can you help if you see someone being unkind to an autistic person?

Yes! Speak up if you feel safe. You can say, “That’s not okay.” Offer support to the autistic person. Sometimes, just standing with them helps. Your kindness makes a big difference.