How to Help Autistic Child Express Their Feelings

Last Updated on July 26, 2025 by John Hookway

Every child shares feelings in their own way. If you are a parent or caregiver looking to help autistic child express emotions, you may notice that showing feelings is harder for them.

Studies say up to 80% of autistic children have trouble with emotional regulation. Almost half also find it hard to talk about their feelings.

When you help autistic child share emotions, you help them feel more confident. You also help autistic child connect with others and feel safe in their world.

Key Takeaways

• Watch how your autistic child acts and plays. This helps you know how they feel. They may not use words to show feelings.
• Accept every feeling your child shows, happy or sad. This builds trust. It helps your child feel safe sharing feelings.
• Keep daily routines the same. Tell your child about changes before they happen. This lowers stress. It makes feelings easier to handle.
• Use visual tools like emotion charts and social stories. These help your child see and share feelings clearly.
• Let your child use art, music, and movement to show feelings. These give more ways to share emotions.
• Show your own feelings and how you deal with them. This teaches your child how to show and handle feelings.
• Support all ways your child talks, like gestures, AAC devices, or actions. This helps your child connect with others.
• Work with therapists and support groups for advice and help. They can give you tools and support to help your child share feelings.

Recognize Emotions

To know how your autistic child feels, you need to notice their emotions, even if they do not talk about them. You can learn a lot by watching their actions and seeing what makes them feel strong emotions.

Observe Nonverbal Cues

Facial Expressions

Autistic children might show feelings in ways that are not like other kids. You may notice:

• They might not look at you much, which can mean they feel upset or too much is happening.
• Sometimes their faces do not match their feelings. For example, they could smile when they are nervous or look blank when they are sad.
• They may not use gestures like waving or pointing.

If you watch these signs, you can guess how your child feels, even if they do not say anything. A small change in their face or eyes can give you clues.

Behavior and Play

How your child acts or plays can show their feelings better than words. When they play, you might see:

• They do the same movement over and over, like flapping hands or rocking. This can mean they are excited, stressed, or trying to calm down.
• They might stop playing a favorite game or play alone after being with others.
• Their body language, like crossing arms or turning away, can mean they want to be alone or feel uncomfortable.

Research says watching your child during play helps you see their feelings right away. You can notice if they are happy, upset, or worried by looking at how they act. This works better than just asking them or guessing how they feel.

Notice Emotional Triggers

Changes in Routine

Many autistic children feel better when things stay the same. If something changes, like a new plan or a surprise visitor, they may have strong feelings.

You might notice:

• They could have a meltdown or tantrum if plans change.
• They might get quiet or pull away after something unexpected.
• They may do more repetitive actions to help themselves feel better.

When you see these things, stop and help your child before trying to fix the problem. Sometimes, just being there and giving comfort helps them feel safe.

Sensory Overload

Sensory overload is when things like loud sounds or bright lights are too much. Some common triggers are noisy places, bright rooms, or crowds.

Signs of sensory overload can be:

• Covering their ears or eyes.
• Suddenly acting out or hurting themselves.
• Not talking or not reacting to you.

These actions are not bad behavior. They are ways your child shows they are upset. Making a calm space or giving them things like a fidget toy or weighted blanket can help them feel better.

Look for patterns. If you see the same things upset your child, you can get ready or change things to help them feel less stressed.

To recognize emotions in your autistic child, you need to look at more than just words. By watching their actions, how they play, and what makes them upset, you can understand and help your child every day.

Validate and Support Feelings

Helping your autistic child express feelings starts with showing them that all emotions matter. You can build trust and help your child feel safe by accepting every feeling they have, both good and bad.

Acknowledge All Emotions

Positive and Negative Feelings

You might notice your child feels happy, excited, sad, or frustrated. Every emotion is important. When you recognize both positive and negative feelings, you show your child that it is okay to feel any way.

For example, you can say, “I see you are happy playing with your toy,” or “It looks like you feel upset because your game ended.” This helps your child learn that feelings are normal and nothing to hide.

Research shows that autistic children can learn empathy and improve their social skills when you recognize all their emotions.

They may have trouble showing empathy in the same way as other kids, but they are not indifferent. When you support both happy and sad feelings, you help your child grow in understanding themselves and others.

Over time, your child can develop stronger empathy and even show more prosocial actions than some non-autistic peers. Creating an environment where all emotions are welcome helps your child feel included and understood.

Responding Without Judgment

Try not to judge or correct your child’s feelings. If your child feels angry or scared, avoid saying things like, “Don’t be upset,” or “You shouldn’t feel that way.” Instead, let them know it is okay to feel what they feel.

You can say, “It’s okay to feel mad,” or “I’m here if you want to talk.” This builds trust and helps your child feel safe sharing their emotions with you.

When you stay calm and open, your child learns that feelings are not something to fear or hide.

Daily Emotional Check-Ins

Naming Emotions

Making emotional check-ins part of your daily routine helps your child understand and talk about feelings. You can use simple tools like emotion charts or pictures.

Ask your child to point to or name how they feel. This makes emotions less confusing and gives your child words or images to use.

Listening and Validating

Listen closely when your child tries to share. Even if they use gestures or pictures instead of words, pay attention. Repeat back what you see or hear.

For example, “You look sad. Do you want a hug?” This shows your child that you care and understand.

Daily emotional check-ins help your child:

• Build a routine that makes feelings predictable and safe.
• Use visuals to express emotions, which is helpful for both verbal and nonverbal children.
• Connect with you and feel supported.
• Learn to recognize and manage their own feelings.
• Gain confidence in sharing emotions with others.

Customizing emotion charts with your child’s favorite colors or characters can make check-ins more fun and engaging.

By making time each day to talk about feelings and by accepting every emotion, you help your autistic child feel valued and understood. This support lays the foundation for healthy emotional growth and stronger connections with others.

Create a Safe Space

Making your autistic child feel safe starts at home. A calm and steady place helps your child share feelings and handle stress.

Predictable Routines

Consistency

Keeping routines the same helps your child feel better. When your child knows what will happen, they worry less. Doing things like eating meals at the same time or having a set bedtime helps a lot.

Using pictures or charts shows your child what comes next. This makes changes and feelings easier to understand.

Preparing for Change

Change can be hard for autistic children. You can help by telling your child about changes before they happen.

Use timers, countdowns, or stories to explain what is coming. Talk about changes early and often. This helps your child feel ready and not so worried.

Let your child help with small changes. Letting them pick a snack for a trip can make changes easier.

Calm Environment

Sensory Tools

Many autistic children react strongly to sounds, lights, or how things feel. Sensory tools can help your child stay calm. Weighted blankets can help your child relax.

Fidget spinners, stress balls, or headphones block out noise or help with extra energy. These tools help your child handle strong feelings and too much noise.

Sensory tools are not just toys. They help your child focus, relax, and feel safe every day.

Time-Out Area

A quiet spot at home can really help. You can call it a “calm corner” or “quiet zone.” Put soft pillows, favorite books, or sensory items there. When your child feels upset, they can go there to calm down. This is not a place for punishment. It is a safe spot for your child to take a break and feel better.

Making a calm space gives many good things:

• Your child feels safe and steady.
• Your child can take a break when things are too much.
• Your child can talk about feelings without fear.
• Your child learns to share feelings in a healthy way.

A safe home space helps your autistic child feel cared for. With good routines, sensory tools, and quiet spots, your child can share feelings in a healthy way.

Use Visual and Alternative Supports

Every autistic child has a unique way of sharing feelings. Sometimes, words are not enough or are too hard to use.

Visual and alternative supports give your child more ways to show emotions and needs. These tools can make feelings easier to understand and express.

Visual Aids

Visual aids use pictures, symbols, or charts to help your child talk about feelings. These supports work well for both verbal and nonverbal children. They make emotions clear and less confusing.

Emotion Charts

Emotion charts show faces or symbols for different feelings like happy, sad, or angry. Your child can point to or pick the face that matches how they feel. This helps them share emotions without needing words.

Emotion charts and other visual aids, like PECS or communication boards, help your child talk about feelings, lower stress, and build independence. When you use these tools every day and make them personal, your child feels more confident and understood.

Pictograms

Pictograms are simple pictures or symbols that show feelings, actions, or needs. You can use them on cards, boards, or apps.

Pictograms help your child choose how they feel or what they want. These tools work well at home, school, or anywhere your child needs to share emotions.

Visual aids do more than just help your child talk. They also make routines clear, lower anxiety, and help your child join in with others. Many experts recommend using visual supports as part of daily life for autistic children.

Social Stories

Social stories use short, simple stories with pictures to show what happens in different situations. These stories help your child understand feelings, social rules, and what to expect.

Practicing Scenarios

You can use social stories to practice what might happen at a birthday party, during a doctor visit, or when feeling upset.

Social stories:

• Show what feelings look like and what to do with them.
• Use clear pictures and words to make ideas easy to understand.
• Teach your child how to handle new or stressful events.
• Help your child learn about personal space, sharing, and taking turns.

Social stories give your child a safe way to learn about emotions and social rules. They help your child feel ready for new things and lower worry about changes.

Social stories work best when you use them before something new happens. They help your child know what to expect, which makes them feel safer and more confident.

Nonverbal Expression

Not every child wants to use words. Nonverbal ways, like art and music, let your child show feelings in their own style.

Drawing and Art

Drawing, painting, or coloring gives your child a safe way to share feelings. Art lets your child use colors and shapes to show emotions like sadness, anger, or joy. Many children find it easier to draw how they feel than to say it out loud.

Art activities help your child:

• Calm down and focus.
• Explore feelings without fear of being wrong.
• Build confidence by finishing a project.
• Share emotions with you in a way that feels safe.

Art therapy helps your child process feelings, manage stress, and connect with others. It also gives you a window into your child’s emotional world.

Music and Movement

Music and movement are powerful tools for expression. Your child might tap, dance, or sway to music to show excitement or calm down. Playing instruments or listening to favorite songs can help your child relax or share how they feel.

• Music helps your child express feelings without words.
• Movement lets your child release energy or stress.
• Both can make your child feel happier and more connected.

Nonverbal expression, like art and music, gives your child freedom to share feelings in a way that fits them best. These activities also help with emotional control and self-awareness.

Visual and alternative supports give your autistic child more ways to express feelings. These tools make emotions easier to understand, lower stress, and help your child feel heard—no matter how they choose to communicate.

Teach and Model Emotions

Helping your autistic child learn about feelings starts with you. What you do each day matters. You can show your child how to handle emotions by teaching and practicing together.

Model Emotional Expression

Sharing Your Feelings

You help your child learn about feelings at home. When you talk about your own feelings, you show that emotions are normal.

For example, you can say, “I feel happy when we read,” or “I get frustrated when I lose things.” Saying your feelings out loud helps your child see that everyone has emotions.

• The Early Start Denver Model (ESDM) uses copying faces to help autistic children learn. Kids who practice making faces and showing emotions get better at social skills.
• When you show emotions, your child learns to notice and copy them. This helps your child understand how others feel.
• Kids who get better at copying faces also get better at seeing feelings in others.

Try to use clear faces and simple words when you share feelings. Your child will notice your clues.

Describing Coping Strategies

Show your child what you do when you feel strong emotions. You might say, “I feel nervous, so I take deep breaths,” or “When I am sad, I listen to music.”

Talking about what you do gives your child real examples to follow. Over time, your child learns good ways to handle their own feelings.

Teach Emotional Vocabulary

Simple Language

Start with easy words like happy, sad, angry, or scared. Use these words often in daily life. You can point to pictures, use emotion cards, or look in a mirror.

Activities like naming feelings from faces or real moments help your child connect words to feelings. Tools like cards or AAC devices make learning fun.

One Emotion at a Time

Focus on one feeling before teaching another. This keeps things simple and not confusing. You might spend a week talking about “happy” and showing what it looks like. Then, move to “sad” with stories or pictures.

Using storybooks, acting, and pictures helps your child practice and remember each feeling. Apps and social robots can also make learning about feelings more fun.

Teaching feelings step by step helps your child share emotions clearly and feel more sure in social times.

Practice with Activities

Games and Role-Play

Games and acting make learning about feelings fun. You can use cards with faces, play matching games, or act out feelings together.

Storybooks let your child see and talk about feelings in different situations. Fun games, like copying faces or naming feelings, keep your child interested.

• Simple pictures help your child focus on the feeling.
• Matching games and acting help your child name and talk about feelings.
• Technology, like social robots, gives easy and fun ways to practice feelings.

Discussing Facial Expressions

Look at faces in books or photos together. Ask your child to guess how someone feels or make the same face. Talk about what eyes, mouths, and eyebrows do when someone is happy, sad, or surprised. This helps your child notice and understand clues without words.

Doing activities, games, and using real-life examples gives your child many chances to learn and use feelings every day.

Help Autistic Child Communicate

Each autistic child has their own way to share feelings. You can help by supporting all ways your child tries to communicate.

This means not just using spoken words. When you notice and encourage every way your child connects, you give them more chances to share emotions and needs.

Encourage All Communication

Verbal and Nonverbal

Autistic children show feelings in many ways. Some use words, but many use actions or other signs. You might see your child:

• Point or wave to show what they want
• Use their face or body to show feelings
• Repeat lines from movies or things they heard before (this is called echolalia)
• Flap hands, say no to tasks, or have meltdowns

Every time your child tries to communicate, it matters—even if they do not use words. When you answer, you show your child their voice is important.

Here is a table with common ways to communicate:

Your child may use more than one way to communicate. Sometimes, they switch between talking, gestures, or actions depending on what is happening.

Communication Devices

Many autistic children use tools to help them talk. These are called Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) devices.

AAC can be:

• Picture boards or cards
• Devices and apps that speak for your child
• Sign language
• Written words or symbols

AAC devices help your child share feelings, needs, and choices. For example, PECS lets your child point to pictures to say what they want. Some devices can say words or sentences for your child.

AAC devices do not stop speech from growing. They often help your child learn new words and feel braver about sharing feelings.

Studies show AAC devices help lower frustration and meltdowns. When you use these tools every day, your child can share feelings more clearly. Speech therapists can help you pick the best device and teach your child how to use it.

Functional Communication Training

Functional Communication Training (FCT) teaches new ways to share needs and feelings. FCT helps your child use better skills instead of hard behaviors.

Identifying Behaviors

Start by watching for actions that mean your child is trying to say something.

These can be:

• Tantrums or meltdowns when they cannot get what they want
• Hurting themselves or others when upset
• Doing the same move over and over, like rocking or flapping

These actions are not just “bad.” They are often your child’s way of saying, “I need help,” “I’m upset,” or “I want something.” FCT helps you figure out what your child is trying to say.

Teaching Alternatives

Once you know what your child wants to say, you can teach a new way to share it. FCT uses things like:

• Simple words or signs
• Picture cards or AAC devices
• Visual schedules or social stories

You can practice these new skills during daily routines. For example, if your child throws a toy when upset, you can teach them to give you a “help” card instead. Over time, your child learns that using the new skill works better than the old behavior.

FCT helps lower frustration and worry. When your child has a clear way to share feelings, problem behaviors often go down, and your child feels more in control.

Many studies show FCT and AAC systems like PECS help autistic children talk more. Kids who use these tools often say more words, have better social skills, and have fewer meltdowns. Some children keep these skills for years.

You can help your autistic child communicate by supporting every way they try to share. When you use tools like AAC and FCT, you give your child more ways to share feelings and connect with others. This support builds confidence, lowers stress, and helps your child feel understood.

Collaborate with Professionals

Getting help from professionals gives you more ways to support your autistic child. Therapists and support groups can give you tools, advice, and a sense of belonging. Here is what each kind of support can offer.

Speech and Language Therapy

Speech and language therapy (SLT) helps your child learn to talk and share feelings. Therapists use different ways to help your child grow:

• They teach your child how to use words and control emotions.
• They use pictures, AAC devices, and games to make learning fun.
• You get to join in, so you can help at home too.
• Your child learns to notice and talk about feelings, which can stop meltdowns.
• Therapists show your child how to take turns, look at people, and understand feelings.
• They help your child read faces and body language, like smiles or waves.
• Starting early and going often helps your child do their best.

SLT often happens in places like classrooms or playgrounds. This lets your child practice skills in real life. When you join in, your child learns faster and remembers more.

Occupational Therapy

Occupational therapy (OT) helps your child handle feelings through hands-on activities. Therapists use things like sensory play, games, and coping skills to help your child feel calm and strong.

• Sensory tools like weighted blankets or swings help your child relax.
• Play lets your child choose what to do, which builds confidence.
• Therapists teach ways to calm down, like deep breaths or yoga.
• Pictures, stories, and acting help your child name and understand feelings.
• OT works with you and teachers to keep things the same at home and school.
• Sensory diets and changes in the room help your child feel better.

Studies show OT can help your child feel less upset and make friends. Your child learns to handle stress, share feelings, and join in with others.

Support Groups and Resources

Support groups let you meet other parents and experts. These groups are a place to talk, learn, and feel understood.

There are many types:

You can join groups in person or online. Meeting in person helps you make close friends. Online groups are easy to join and private. Both ways help you feel less alone and give you new ideas to help your child share feelings.

Working with therapists and other parents makes a strong team for your child. Meeting often, talking openly, and sharing goals helps everyone support your child together.

You have many ways to help autistic child express feelings.

• Use emotion cards, stories, and art to make emotions clear.
• Keep routines steady and respond with patience.
• Celebrate every small step your child takes.

With time and support, your child can learn to share feelings in their own way. Consistent and caring actions from you build trust and help your child grow stronger every day.

FAQ

What are some signs my autistic child feels overwhelmed?

You might see your child cover their ears, avoid eye contact, or repeat movements. They may get quiet or have a meltdown. Watch for changes in behavior or mood. These signs often mean your child feels stressed or overloaded.

What tools help my child express feelings without words?

You can try emotion charts, picture cards, or AAC devices. Drawing, music, and movement also help. These tools give your child more ways to share feelings when talking feels hard.

What should I do if my child refuses to talk about feelings?

Stay calm and patient. Offer choices like pointing to pictures or using art. Let your child know it is okay to take breaks. Sometimes, just being there helps your child feel safe.

What makes routines important for autistic children?

Routines help your child know what to expect. This lowers stress and makes daily life easier. Predictable routines also help your child feel safe and ready to share feelings.

What is the best way to teach new emotions?

Start with one emotion at a time. Use simple words, pictures, and real-life examples. Practice with games or stories. Repeat often. Celebrate small steps as your child learns.

What can I do if my child has a meltdown?

Move your child to a calm space. Offer comfort with a favorite toy or sensory tool. Speak softly. Wait until your child feels better before talking. Meltdowns are not bad behavior—they are a way to show strong feelings.

What professionals can help my child communicate better?

Speech therapists, occupational therapists, and special education teachers can help. They teach skills, suggest tools, and support your child’s growth. You can also join support groups for more ideas and encouragement.