Top Safety Tips for Autistic People Making Friends Online

You want to make friends online, but you may worry about being safe. Autistic people and online friendships can bring joy, support, and understanding.

Sometimes, things can feel confusing or unsafe. You might face cyberbullying or have trouble reading social cues. You may also worry about sharing personal details, as some people online may not be honest.

Simple safety tips can help you stay safe and foster good friendships. You are not alone. Many people feel this way, and you can learn to be safe while making friends.

Key Takeaways

• Start by sharing small things about yourself. Build trust slowly before you share personal information.
• Keep your personal information secret. Never give your address, phone number, or private details to strangers online.
• Use privacy settings on social media. Make your accounts private so you control who sees your posts and information.
• Watch for warning signs in online talks. If someone asks for personal info or makes you feel weird, trust your feelings.
• Meet online friends in public places. Always tell a trusted adult about your plans before you meet someone in person.
• Make strong passwords for your accounts. Use different passwords and turn on two-factor authentication for more safety.
• Take breaks if online talks feel too much. Take care of your mental health and set limits for your online time.
• Ask trusted adults for help if you feel unsafe. Talking to them can give you support and help in tough situations.

Autistic People and Online Friendships

Making friends online can be fun and a bit scary. You might find it easier to talk to people online than face-to-face. Many autistic people like online friendships because you can think before you reply. You can meet people who like the same things as you, even if they live far away.

Building Trust Online

Trust matters in every friendship. It can take a while to trust someone online. You may not know how much to share or if someone is a true friend.

Gradual Sharing

Share small things about yourself first. You do not need to tell everything right away. You can talk about your favorite games, books, or hobbies. Wait until you feel safe before sharing personal details. This helps you stay safe and see if the other person is trustworthy.

Recognizing Genuine Connections

It can be hard to know if someone is honest online. Here are some things that can make trust harder:

• You might feel nervous when starting a chat or not know what to say.
• It is hard to read body language online, so you might misunderstand.
• Social situations can make you anxious when you want to impress someone.
• If plans change quickly, you might feel upset or frustrated.
• Bad experiences before can make you worry about new friends.
• Deciding to tell someone you are autistic can be stressful.
• Sometimes, you are very friendly, but others may not get your style.
• You may not always know your feelings, which can make things confusing.
• You might worry about how often to message or keep in touch.

If someone listens to you, respects your boundaries, and likes the same things, these are good signs. Real friends do not rush you or make you feel bad for taking your time.

Benefits and Challenges

Autistic people and online friendships can bring many good things. You can talk to people who accept you as you are. Many autistic people like online friendships because you can have fun chats without feeling pressure. You might find friends who like your humor or hobbies.

Sometimes, you may feel left out or not know how to solve a problem. Still, you can learn to handle these moments and keep making good friends.

Take breaks if you feel stressed. Friendships should make you feel happy and safe.

Protecting Personal Information

You might share things about yourself online, but not everything should be public. Keeping your personal information safe helps you avoid scams and bullying.

It also protects you from other dangers. Let’s talk about what you should keep private, how to use privacy settings, and ways to make your accounts safer.

What to Keep Private

Some details about you are very important to scammers and strangers. You may not know how easy it is for someone to use your information in a bad way.

Addresses and Phone Numbers

Do not share your home address or phone number with people you meet online. Someone could use this information to find you or contact you without asking. Even if a friend seems nice, wait until you know them well and have met them in person with a trusted adult.

Photos and Videos

Photos and videos can show more than you think. A picture might show your school, your street, or your house number. Videos can share your voice, your room, or your daily routine. Only share photos and videos with people you trust. Do not post them in public groups or forums.

Before you post a photo, look for clues like street signs, school logos, or anything that shows where you live.

Here’s a quick list of personal information you should always keep private:

• Social security numbers
• Bank account details
• Personal identification information
• Your address and phone number
• School name and location
• Real-time location updates

Using Privacy Settings

Social media and chat apps let you control who sees your information. You can make your profile safer with just a few clicks.

Social Media Controls

Most platforms let you pick who can see your posts, photos, and profile. Set your account to private so only friends can see what you share. Check privacy policies before you sign up. Some apps change their settings, so check them often.

• Use tighter privacy settings to keep your information safe.
• Stronger settings help keep strangers away from your personal details.
• Sometimes, stronger security makes some features harder to use, but your safety is most important.

Friends-Only Security

Limit who can send you friend requests or messages. Only accept requests from people you know or have talked to in safe groups. If someone makes you feel weird, block or remove them from your contacts.

Note: Platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and Discord let you control who can see your posts and who can contact you. Use these controls to keep your circle small and safe.

Here are some smart privacy habits:

• Check privacy policies before signing up.
• Update privacy settings often.
• Do not share real-time location or sensitive info.
• Watch out for strange messages and links.

Strong Passwords and Safe Accounts

Your password keeps your online life safe. A weak password makes it easy for someone to break in and steal your information.

• Use strong, unique passwords for every account.
• Make passwords long—at least 16 characters.
• Mix letters, numbers, and symbols, or use a phrase you remember.
• Never use the same password for different accounts.
• Use a trusted password manager to store and create passwords.
• Turn on two-factor authentication (MFA) if you can.

Try using a passphrase like “PurpleCatsDance@Midnight!” instead of a short word. It is easier to remember and much harder to guess.

Here’s a simple way to make your accounts safer:

1. Make a long, random password for each account.
2. Store your passwords in a password manager.
3. Turn on multi-factor authentication for extra protection.
4. Be careful about what you share, even by accident.

If you follow these steps, it is much harder for anyone to steal your information or trick you online. You stay in control of your privacy and keep your friendships safe.

Spotting Red Flags

You want to make friends online, but you also want to stay safe. Sometimes, people do things that make you feel weird or worried. These are called red flags. If you know what to look for, you can protect yourself and your friendships.

Unsafe Behaviors

Not everyone online has good intentions. Some people try to trick you or make you do things you do not want to do. You can spot unsafe behaviors if you pay attention to how someone acts or what they say.

Requests for Sensitive Info

If someone asks for your personal information, you should stop and think. They might want your address, phone number, or where you go to school. These questions are not okay, especially if you just met them.

• Someone asks for your address or phone number right away.
• They want to know where you go to school or where you live.
• They ask for photos or videos that show private things.

Tip: If someone asks for this kind of information, you do not have to answer. You can say, “I do not share that online.”

Pressure or Secrecy

Some people try to make you keep secrets. They might say, “Don’t tell anyone about our chat,” or “This is just between us.” They may also push you to do things you do not want to do, like meeting in person or sending pictures.

• They want you to keep your friendship a secret.
• They get upset if you do not answer right away.
• They try to make you feel guilty or say you are not a good friend if you do not do what they want.

If someone pressures you or asks you to keep secrets, that is a big red flag.

Uncomfortable Messages

You might get messages that make you feel weird, scared, or confused. Trust your feelings. If a message feels wrong, it probably is.

• The person sends messages that are too friendly or intense very quickly.
• They talk about things that make you uncomfortable, like sex or private body parts.
• They send you links or pictures that you do not want.

You never have to answer messages that make you feel bad or unsafe.

Here are some common red flags to watch for:

• Asking for personal information too soon
• Being overly friendly or intense quickly
• Trying to isolate you from other friends
• Giving inconsistent or confusing information
• Pressuring you to meet in person
• Using guilt or manipulation

Responding to Red Flags

You have the right to feel safe online. If you notice any red flags, you can take action right away.

Blocking and Reporting

Most social platforms let you block or report someone who makes you feel unsafe. Here is how you can do it on some popular apps:

1. Instagram:
   • Tap the person’s username or profile photo.
   • Tap the three dots in the top right corner.
   • Choose ‘Block’ or ‘Report’.
2. Snapchat:
   • Tap the chat bubble at the bottom.
   • Find the person’s name.
   • Hold down on their name, then tap ‘More’.
   • Select ‘Block’ or ‘Report’.

Blocking stops the person from contacting you. Reporting tells the app about the problem. You help keep yourself and others safe.

You can block or report someone at any time. You do not need a reason. Your safety comes first.

Talking to Trusted Adults

If you feel worried or confused, talk to someone you trust. This could be a parent, teacher, or another adult you know well. You can say, “Someone online made me uncomfortable,” or “I got a weird message.” Trusted adults can help you decide what to do next.

• Tell an adult if someone asks for your address, school, or wants to meet.
• Tell an adult if someone asks you to keep secrets.
• Tell an adult if someone talks about sex or sends you strange pictures.

You are not alone. Many people have felt the same way. Trusted adults want to help you stay safe.

Online predators are real. Over 10,000 children in the U.S. are sexually exploited each year. About 500,000 online predators are active every day. Sometimes, a groomer can build trust in just 8 minutes.

You can protect yourself by setting boundaries, blocking unsafe people, and talking to adults you trust.

Stay alert, trust your feelings, and remember: you deserve to feel safe online.

Setting Boundaries Online

Setting boundaries online helps you feel safe and comfortable. Boundaries tell others what you are okay with and what you are not.

You can change your boundaries as you get to know someone better. You do not have to explain your reasons. Your comfort matters most.

Knowing Your Limits

You might feel tired after chatting for a long time. You may need breaks or want to talk only about certain topics. It is okay to say when you need space. Knowing your limits helps you avoid feeling overwhelmed or burned out.

Here are some ways to know your limits:

• Notice when you start to feel tired or stressed.
• Decide how much time you want to spend online each day.
• Think about which topics make you feel good and which ones do not.

You can tell your friends, “I need a break now,” or “I can’t talk about this topic.”

You can also look at this table to see some helpful boundary-setting principles:

Communicating Boundaries

You might worry about how to tell someone your boundaries. Clear and direct language works best. You do not have to use fancy words. Simple, honest messages help others understand you.

Saying No

Saying no can feel hard, but it gets easier with practice. You can say no to things that make you uncomfortable or tired. You do not have to agree to everything.

Some ways to say no:

• “No, thank you.”
• “I don’t want to talk about that.”
• “I’m not comfortable with this.”

Practicing saying no helps you feel more confident and protects your mental health.

Using Pre-Written Responses

Sometimes, you might not know what to say. Pre-written responses or scripts can help. You can write them ahead of time and use them when you need to set a boundary.

Here are some examples:

• “I need some time alone now.”
• “Let’s talk about something else.”
• “I don’t share personal photos online.”

You can also use a code word or signal with trusted friends to show when you need space. Written communication can feel less stressful than talking out loud.

Respecting Others

Boundaries go both ways. Your friends have limits, too. Listen when someone tells you they need a break or do not want to talk about something. Respecting others’ boundaries helps build trust and keeps friendships healthy.

• Ask if your friend is okay with a topic before you start.
• Give them space if they say they need it.
• Use kind words and show understanding.

Good friendships grow when everyone feels safe and respected. Setting and respecting boundaries makes online spaces better for everyone.

Safe Communication Tips

Making friends online can be fun and new. You might want to talk, share, and connect with others. But you also need to think about staying safe. These tips can help you pick good platforms, avoid scams, and keep your chats friendly.

Choosing Safe Platforms

Not every app or website is safe for making friends. Some platforms are made to help autistic people connect safely. These sites know what you need and help you find people who understand you.

Here’s a table of platforms that many autistic people use to make friends:

You can try these platforms if you want a safer place to meet new friends. Always check privacy settings before you start chatting.

Avoiding Scams

Scammers try to trick people online. They might send fake messages or ask for your private information. You can spot scams if you know what to look for.

Suspicious Links and Emails

Be careful with messages that seem odd or ask for private things. Scammers use tricks like:

• Phishing scams: These look real but ask for your info. They may have spelling mistakes or strange requests.
• Tech support scams: Someone acts like tech support and asks for money or to use your computer.
• Fake online pharmacies: These sites sell fake medicine. They may not need a prescription or have prices that are too low.

Tip: If you get a strange email or message, do not click links or share info. Ask a trusted adult or check the company’s real website.

You can stay safe by:

• Checking emails or calls by contacting the company yourself.
• Using safe websites, like patient portals, for health info.
• Looking at your bank and medical records for anything odd.

Too-Good-to-Be-True Offers

If someone offers you money, gifts, or prizes for no reason, it is likely a scam. Real friends do not ask for your passwords or bank info. Trust your feelings. If something feels wrong, it probably is.

Being Kind and Respectful

Good friendships grow when you are kind and respectful. You can make your online space better by doing these things:

• Talk often and send nice messages.
• Check your chats so you do not miss news or plans.
• Tell friends when you are free to talk.
• Try to start conversations, even if you feel shy. Your friends will like it.

😊 Being kind helps everyone feel safe and welcome.

Meeting Online Friends Safely

Making friends online can feel exciting. Sometimes, you might want to meet your online friend in person. Meeting up can be fun, but you need to think about safety first. You deserve to feel comfortable and secure every step of the way.

Deciding to Meet

Before you decide to meet an online friend, ask yourself a few questions. Do you trust this person? Have you talked for a while? Do you share interests and feel safe chatting with them?

Accessibility matters, too. Meeting in places where you feel comfortable, like a café or a park, can help you relax and enjoy the moment.

Here are some things to consider before you agree to meet:

• Only meet in public places. Never go anywhere alone with someone you just met.
• Make sure you have your own way to get there and back. Do not ride with anyone you do not know well.
• Share your plans with a trusted friend or family member. Tell them where you are going, who you are meeting, and when you expect to return.
• If you start to feel uncomfortable, it is okay to leave. You can use a cover story if you need to.
• Stay aware of your surroundings. Make sure no one follows you after the meeting.

If something feels off, trust your gut. You can always say no or change your mind.

Planning a Safe Meeting

You can make your first meeting safer by planning ahead. Think about what makes you feel comfortable and what you need to stay safe.

Public Places

Pick a spot where other people are around. Busy places like coffee shops, libraries, or parks work well. Public places help you feel safe and make it easier to leave if you need to.

Bringing Someone Along

Invite a friend or family member to come with you. Having someone you trust nearby can help you feel less nervous. Your friend can also help if anything feels strange or uncomfortable.

Informing Others

Always tell someone you trust about your plans. Let them know where you will be, who you are meeting, and when you plan to come home. Keep your phone charged and have some cash for emergencies. You can also set up a check-in time so your friend or family member knows you are safe.

Here’s a quick checklist for your first meeting:

1. Meet in a public place for the first few times.
2. Drive your own car or arrange your own ride.
3. Tell a friend or family member your plans.
4. Never leave your food or drinks unattended.
5. Keep your phone handy and bring some cash.

Meeting online friends can be a great experience. Planning ahead helps you stay safe and enjoy your time together.

If You Feel Unsafe

Online friendships can feel great, but sometimes you might notice something feels wrong. Trust your feelings. You deserve to feel safe every time you chat or share online.

Recognizing Discomfort

You might not always know right away when something is off. Your body and mind can give you clues. Pay attention to these signs:

• You feel anxious or your heart beats faster when you see certain messages.
• You want to stop talking or leave a group chat.
• You feel pressure to do things you do not want to do.
• You get upset by flashing banners, bright lights, or loud noises online. These can cause sensory overload, which happens to about 80% of autistic kids.
• You feel left out when others post about private hangouts or inside jokes.
• You worry about like counts or follower numbers.
• You feel stressed when group chats encourage risky dares or gossip.

If you feel uncomfortable, it is okay to take a break. You do not have to explain yourself.

Taking Action

You have the right to protect yourself. If you feel unsafe, you can do something about it.

Leaving the Conversation

You can leave a chat or group at any time. You do not need to stay if you feel nervous or upset. Try these steps:

• Close the app or website.
• Log out for a while.
• Take deep breaths and do something you enjoy.

Sometimes, just stepping away helps you feel better.

Blocking and Reporting

Most apps let you block or report people who make you feel unsafe. Blocking stops them from sending you messages. Reporting tells the platform about the problem.

• Find the block or report button in the chat or profile.
• Follow the steps to block or report the person.
• You do not need to talk to the person first.

You can also set up parental controls to block certain content or limit who can contact you. Clear rules for who you talk to online can help you feel safer.

Seeking Support

You do not have to handle things alone. Talk to someone you trust, like a parent, teacher, or counselor. Open communication helps you feel less worried and more confident.

Here are some helpful resources if you need extra support:

Remember, you are not alone. Many people want to help you stay safe and happy online.

Healthy Online Habits for Autistic People

Building good online habits helps you enjoy friendships and stay healthy. You can have fun online, but you also need to take care of your mind and body. Let’s look at some simple ways to manage your time, balance your life, and make your online spaces positive.

Setting Time Limits

Spending time online can be exciting, but too much screen time can make you feel tired or stressed. You might lose track of time when you chat with friends or play games. Setting limits helps you stay healthy and gives you more time for other activities.

The CDC and the American Academy of Pediatrics suggest these screen time limits:

• Children, including those with autism, should have 1-2 hours of leisure screen time each day.
• Kids ages 2-5 should have no more than one hour of quality screen time daily.
• Children 6 and older should try not to go over two hours a day.
• Try to get at least 60 minutes of physical activity every day.

Tip: Use a timer or ask a family member to help you remember when it’s time to take a break.

Balancing Online and Offline Life

You can enjoy online friendships and still have a great offline life. Mixing both helps you feel happier and less stressed. Try these ideas to keep a good balance:

• Join meetups or clubs that match your hobbies.
• Practice social skills in safe groups.
• Set boundaries to protect your energy.
• Use scripts or conversation starters if you feel nervous.

Here are some steps you can follow:

1. Pick places that fit your interests and sensory needs.
2. Decide on your boundaries before going to events.
3. Bring a comfort item, like a fidget toy, to help you feel calm.
4. Use simple scripts to start conversations.
5. Go with a friend or family member if you feel anxious.
6. Take breaks when you need to recharge.

You can enjoy both worlds—online and offline—by planning ahead and listening to your needs.

Fostering Positive Interactions

Kindness and respect make online spaces better for everyone. When you treat others well, you help build a safe and friendly community. Autistic people and online friendships can grow stronger when you focus on positive communication.

Here’s a table showing how positive online communities can help you:

Remember, a kind word or a friendly message can make someone’s day. You can help create a space where everyone feels welcome.

You can build healthy habits by setting limits, balancing your time, and being kind online. These steps help you enjoy your friendships and feel your best every day.

You can make great friends online when you stay safe and trust yourself. Here are some top tips to remember:

• Never share personal information with strangers.
• Leave any chat that feels wrong or makes you uncomfortable.
• Meet new friends in public places and tell someone your plans.
• Keep your passwords strong and private.
• Ask for help from a trusted adult if you ever feel threatened.

Online friendships can help you feel less anxious and connect with people who share your interests. You have the power to protect yourself and enjoy positive, safe friendships.

FAQ

How do I know if someone online is a real friend?

A real friend respects your boundaries and never pressures you. They listen, share interests, and make you feel safe. If you feel happy and comfortable talking to them, that’s a good sign.

What should I do if someone makes me uncomfortable online?

Trust your feelings. You can leave the chat, block the person, or report them. Talk to a trusted adult about what happened. Your safety comes first.

Is it okay to say no to sharing personal information?

Yes! You never have to share anything you don’t want to. Saying no keeps you safe. You can use simple phrases like, “I don’t share that online.”

How can I make online conversations less stressful?

Try using scripts or pre-written responses. Take breaks when you need them. You can also let your friends know if you need more time to reply. 😊

What if I want to meet an online friend in person?

Meet in a public place. Bring someone you trust. Tell a family member your plans. If you feel nervous, it’s okay to cancel or leave early.

How do I keep my accounts safe from hackers?

Use strong, unique passwords for each account. Turn on two-factor authentication. Don’t share your passwords with anyone. Update your passwords regularly.

Where can I find more support or resources?

You can ask a parent, teacher, or counselor for help. Many autism organizations offer online safety guides. Check their websites for tips and support.