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Last Updated on July 31, 2025 by John Hookway
Many children with autism and playing alone often go hand in hand, as these kids feel safe and comfortable engaging in solo activities. They enjoy playing alone because they have unique ways of seeing the world and meeting their own needs.
While some people might view autism and playing alone as a problem, it actually helps children calm down, use their imagination, and learn independently.
Research shows that about 65% of autistic children prefer playing alone more than their peers. Although parents may feel concerned, autism and playing alone can be a normal and healthy part of a child’s development.
Sensory Sensitivities
Overload and Comfort
Children with autism often notice things more than others. Their senses can be very strong. Everyday sounds, lights, or how things feel can bother them a lot.
Studies say about 74% of autistic children have clear sensory differences. These can include not liking loud sounds, bright lights, or certain smells and clothes.
| Sensory Trigger Type | Description of Trigger |
|---|---|
| Auditory | Loud noises, high sounds, or lots of background noise |
| Visual | Bright lights, flickering lights, busy patterns, quick movements |
| Tactile | Itchy fabrics, seams, or tags in clothes |
| Olfactory | Strong or strange smells |
| Gustatory | Strong or odd tastes |
When play with others gets too loud or wild, it can be too much for them. They may cover their ears, close their eyes, or walk away.
Playing alone helps them take a break from these strong feelings. It lets them pick what to do and where to play. Some kids like quiet spots, wear headphones, or play by lining up toys. These choices help them stay calm and enjoy playing by themselves.
Many parents see their child play alone after a noisy event. This helps the child relax and feel better.
Self-Soothing
Playing alone also helps children with autism calm themselves. When they are by themselves, they do things that make them feel safe.
Some things they do to feel better are:
- Rocking back and forth
- Humming or singing quietly
- Flapping hands or flicking fingers
- Holding or rubbing a favorite thing
- Wrapping up in a blanket for a tight hug
Doing these things helps them feel in control and calm. When they play alone, they do not have to worry about what others think.
Being alone is not just to avoid things they do not like. It is also a way to feel safe and happy in their own way.
Social Communication
Interaction Challenges
Many autistic children find it hard to talk with others. They may not understand faces or body language. Tone of voice can also be confusing for them.
Group play can feel stressful and hard to follow. If a child cannot tell if someone is joking, they may get confused. This can make them feel upset or worried. Playing alone feels safer for them.
Studies show group play can cause more stress for autistic children. Their bodies make more stress hormones like cortisol during group play. This happens because social rules change fast.
It is hard to keep up and fit in. Some children try to hide their real selves to blend in. This can make them very tired and worn out.
Social communication needs effort from both sides. Both autistic and non-autistic people can misunderstand each other. This is called the “double empathy problem.” It means both sides can have trouble, not just the child.
A quick look at social communication differences:
| Aspect of Social Communication Difficulty | Autistic Children | Neurotypical Children |
|---|---|---|
| Difficulty with Theory of Mind tasks | ~80% | ~20% |
| Nonverbal communication challenges | High prevalence | Low prevalence |
| Sensory processing differences | ~90% | Rare |
| Executive functioning challenges | Common | Less common |
Playing with Adults vs. Peers
Autistic children often find it easier to play with adults. Adults use simple words and speak more clearly. They give more time for answers.
Adults are usually more patient and kind. Playing with other kids can be harder. Kids may change games fast or use inside jokes. This can make autistic children feel left out.
Studies show peer play needs more social skills. Children may do well with adults but not with other kids. Starting a talk or joining a game with peers takes practice. These skills take time to learn and need support.
Some children like playing alone while learning group play slowly. Making friends is a skill that takes time. With help and patience, many autistic children can make friends when they are ready.
Autism and Playing Alone
Control and Predictability
Children with autism often look for control and predictability in their play. They feel safer when they know what will happen next.
Many play spaces can feel confusing or surprising, which can make them anxious. When a child has control over their play, they can choose what to do and when to do it. This helps them feel calm and confident.
Research shows that when children with autism can control their play environment, they feel less stressed. They pay better attention and show fewer repetitive behaviors.
For example, a child might want to turn the lights on and off or pick the music in a sensory room. These choices help them feel in charge.
Experts say that when play spaces have clear routines, visual schedules, and quiet areas, children feel more comfortable. They know what to expect, so they can relax and enjoy playing.
“When children know what will happen next, they can focus on having fun instead of worrying about surprises.”
Having control also helps children become more playful and creative. Studies found that when kids feel in charge of their play, they use their imagination more.
They might pretend a block is a car or a spoon is a microphone. This kind of play helps them learn new things and feel proud of themselves.
Repetitive Play
Repetitive play is very common in autism and playing alone. Many children with autism enjoy doing the same thing over and over.
They might line up cars, spin wheels, or stack blocks in a certain way. These activities help them feel calm and happy. Repetitive play gives them a sense of order and control.
Here is a table showing how common repetitive play is for children with autism compared to other children:
| Group | Prevalence of Motor Stereotypies | Characteristics and Trajectory |
|---|---|---|
| Children with ASD | Up to 88% | Behaviors are frequent, persistent, and last for many years (up to 20 years observed) |
| Typically Developing Children | 20%–70% (simple), 3%–4% (complex) | Behaviors tend to diminish by around age 2; complex stereotypies may be misdiagnosed |
Children with autism and playing alone often use repetitive play to practice new skills. When they play by themselves, they can try things at their own pace.
They do not have to worry about others watching or judging them. This safe space lets them explore, learn, and grow. For example, a child might practice stacking blocks higher each day or try new ways to sort their toys.
Solitary play also helps children with autism manage their emotions. When they play alone, they can avoid loud noises and busy groups. This helps them stay calm and prevents meltdowns.
Many teachers and parents set up quiet corners or sensory spaces for children to play alone. These spaces let children recover from stress and practice new skills without pressure.
Give your child a special spot for solo play. Let them choose their favorite toys and activities. Watch how they play to learn what makes them feel happy and safe.
Autism and playing alone is not just about being by themselves. It is about finding comfort, building skills, and feeling in control.
When children have the chance to play alone, they can discover new interests and become more confident every day.
Types of Play
Solitary and Parallel Play
Children with autism often like to play alone or near others. These are called solitary play and parallel play. Solitary play is when a child plays by themselves.
They pick activities that help them feel calm. Parallel play is when a child plays next to others. They do not talk or work together. They do similar things but do not join in.
Here is a table that shows how solitary and parallel play are different for autistic children:
| Aspect | Solitary Play in Autism | Parallel Play in Autism |
|---|---|---|
| Definition | Playing alone, often as a relaxing activity to manage mental resources and reduce social exhaustion. | Playing side-by-side with peers, doing similar activities without direct interaction, often for longer periods. |
| Function | Helps recharge and cope with social overwhelm. | Acts as a bridge toward social play by allowing observation and gradual engagement. |
| Social Interaction | Minimal or none; focus is on self-directed activity. | Close to others without the need for interaction; may include occasional observation. |
| Duration | Preferred when tired or overwhelmed, varies by individual. | Often lasts longer in autistic children, sometimes into school years. |
| Social Development | Supports self-regulation and mental resource management. | Supports social skill development in a low-pressure environment. |
| Sensory Preferences | May involve soothing sensory activities. | Allows comfort in shared space without direct demands. |
| Transition | May come before parallel play as a more isolated form of engagement. | Stepping stone from solitary play to more interactive play. |
Many autistic children like being close to others but not joining in. They might play with blocks while another child builds nearby. This lets them watch and learn without stress. Some children like parallel play because it feels safe.
“Parallel play lets children enjoy company without the stress of talking or sharing. It is a gentle way to practice being around others.”
Imaginative and Independent Play
Imaginative and independent play help autistic children in many ways. When a child pretends or makes up stories, they learn new skills.
Research shows that child-led play helps children become creative and flexible. It also helps with language, problem-solving, and feelings.
Here are some main benefits of imaginative and independent play:
| Benefit Domain | Description |
|---|---|
| Executive Function | Improves memory, planning, and flexibility. |
| Social Skills | Builds turn-taking, conversation, and understanding others. |
| Emotional Growth | Helps manage feelings like frustration and excitement. |
| Motor Skills | Strengthens fine and gross motor skills for daily life. |
Children who play alone can try new ideas at their own speed. They might act out stories or build with blocks. These activities help them solve problems and share feelings. When adults support this play, children become more confident. They may be more ready to play with others later.
- Imaginative play can help language and social skills.
- Independent play builds self-reliance and creativity.
- Both types of play give children a safe place to learn and grow.
Imaginative and independent play are not just fun. They help children learn and connect with others.
Benefits of Playing Alone
Building Skills
Playing alone helps autistic children learn important skills. When they are by themselves, they can do what they like. There is no pressure from others.
Many children with autism and playing alone feel happy when drawing, building, or sorting things. These activities help them show their feelings and find new ideas.
- Playing alone helps children show their feelings and stay calm.
- Kids can be creative in special ways, like making detailed pictures or telling stories.
- Learning through play and using their senses helps them solve problems and think for themselves.
- Many autistic children think differently and come up with new ideas.
- When the place fits what a child likes, they feel more sure of themselves.
A child who lines up cars or makes patterns is learning important things. They are getting better at paying attention, being patient, and making plans. These skills help them at school and in life. Playing alone lets them try new things slowly. This helps them feel more confident.
Notice the small ways your child is creative. Praise their ideas and let them choose how to play.
Embracing Neurodiversity
All children play in their own way. Embracing neurodiversity means we accept and support these differences. When adults respect how a child likes to play, the child feels important and understood.
- Saying yes to a child’s special brain helps them feel good about themselves.
- Respecting how they like to play makes them happier and more involved.
- Helping early can build better talking and social skills.
- Letting children help make choices with parents makes life better.
- Focusing on strengths can help lower worry and sadness.
Children with autism and playing alone may not always want to join groups, but they still want to feel close to others. When families and teachers support their choices, children feel safe to be themselves. This helps them feel better, make friends, and feel like they belong.
Every child’s way of playing is okay. Supporting their choices helps them do well.
Children with autism like to play alone because it feels safe. They know what will happen, so it is not scary. It is also more comfortable for them.
Families and teachers can help by making quiet spaces. These spaces should not have loud sounds or bright lights. Using pictures to show what will happen next is helpful.
Letting children have their favorite toys or games makes them happy. Simple routines make things easier. Saying nice things when they play helps them feel good and safe.
Every child’s way of playing is important. When we respect how they play, they feel proud. This helps them learn and grow. If adults accept and enjoy all play styles, everyone feels better.
FAQ
Why does my child with autism play alone so much?
Many autistic children feel safe and happy when they play alone. Solo play helps them manage stress, enjoy their favorite activities, and take breaks from loud or busy places.
Should I worry if my child prefers solo play?
No need to worry! Playing alone can help children with autism build confidence and learn new skills. Parents can support their child by respecting their play style and offering gentle encouragement.
Can playing alone help my child make friends later?
Yes, it can! Solo play lets children practice skills at their own pace. Over time, they may feel ready to join others. Parallel play is a great step toward making friends.
How can I support my child’s play preferences?
Try creating a quiet space with favorite toys. Let your child choose activities. Praise their creativity and independence. This support helps them feel safe and understood.
Is it okay if my child repeats the same play activity?
Absolutely! Repetitive play feels comforting and predictable. It helps children learn and practice new skills. Many autistic children use repetition to explore and understand their world.
