Key Differences Between Autism and Narcissism Explained

People sometimes mix up autism and narcissism. Both can cause problems in social situations. But the reasons for these problems are not the same.

Autistic people may not understand social signals. This can seem like they only care about themselves. Narcissistic people act this way to feel better about themselves.

This mix-up can make it hard to get the right help. It can also lead to wrong diagnoses. If you wonder, “is it narcissism or autism,” knowing the differences can help you give support.

Key Takeaways

• Autism and narcissism are not the same. They both change how people act with others. Autistic people may have trouble reading social cues.
• Narcissistic people often think about themselves first. People with autism might not show empathy because they misunderstand things. It does not mean they do not care.
• Narcissistic people can see how others feel. They may use these feelings to help themselves. Autism usually shows up when kids are young.
• Narcissism starts when people are older, like teens or adults. Talking clearly and being patient helps autistic people learn social skills. Sometimes, people get the wrong diagnosis.
• Only experts can tell if someone has autism or narcissism. Knowing the differences helps people give better support. It also helps build stronger relationships.

Definitions

Autism

The word “autism” or “autism spectrum disorder” (ASD) means a group of brain differences. Doctors use certain rules to find out if someone has autism.
Here are the main signs:

1. People with autism often have trouble talking with others. They may find it hard to have conversations, understand body language, or make friends.
2. They might do the same things over and over or have strong interests. For example, some repeat actions, follow routines, or really like certain topics.
3. These signs usually start when a person is very young.
4. The symptoms can make school, work, or friendships harder.

Autism is not a personality disorder. It is a difference in how someone grows and sees the world.

Narcissism

Narcissism, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), is a mental health problem. It changes how you think about yourself and how you treat others.
Doctors look for certain signs to know if someone has NPD:

• People with NPD may think they are very important.
• They often want others to admire them a lot.
• They may not care much about other people’s feelings.
• These signs usually start when someone is a young adult and show up in many parts of life.

Other signs can be:

• • Thinking you are special or different from others
  • Wanting special treatment
  • Using others for your own gain
  • Feeling jealous or acting better than others

NPD causes long-term problems with how people see themselves and get along with others. The DSM-5 and ICD-11 both say it is a disorder that makes life and relationships hard.

Why Confusion Happens

You might ask why people mix up autism and narcissism. Both can change how someone acts with others. Sometimes, the actions look alike, but the reasons are not the same.

• Some signs can look the same, so people get confused.
• Adults with high-functioning autism may seem like they have narcissism.
• Only a mental health expert can tell the difference for sure.

If you see someone having trouble with others or not showing empathy, do not guess the reason. The cause could be different, so a full check by a doctor is needed.

Main Differences

Empathy

Autism

People with autism sometimes have trouble showing empathy in usual ways. This does not mean they do not care about others. They often cannot read social cues or know how someone feels.

When you wonder, is it narcissism or autism, remember autistic people do not want to hurt or control anyone. Their empathy problems happen because they misunderstand, not because they do not care.

• People with autism might not notice faces or voices.
• They want to connect but do not know how to show it.
• Their empathy can grow if you explain feelings clearly.

If someone seems distant, think if they need help understanding feelings instead of thinking they do not care.

Narcissism

Narcissistic people act differently. They can tell what others feel, but use this for themselves. They often do not have real emotional empathy. When you ask, is it narcissism or autism, look for signs of using others or wanting something for themselves.

• Narcissists can see emotions but use this to get what they want.
• They do not care much about others’ feelings.
• Their empathy is shallow and helps only themselves.

Studies show narcissists struggle with emotional empathy and use people to feel better about themselves.

Communication

Autism

Autistic people may find talking with others hard. They might not get hints or talk a lot about things they like.

This happens because their brains work differently with social stuff. If you ask, is it narcissism or autism, see if the person wants to connect but does not know how.

• Autistic people may not get jokes, sarcasm, or body language.
• They want friends but do not know how to keep talking.
• They might speak in a flat voice or repeat words.

Clear and simple talking helps autistic people feel better.

Narcissism

Narcissistic people talk to get attention or control. They may turn talks back to themselves or ignore others. Their words help them get praise or admiration.

• Narcissists may interrupt or talk over people.
• They brag or make their achievements sound bigger.
• They use words to impress or control, not to connect.

Narcissists know social rules but break them to get what they want, unlike autistic people.

Social Interaction

Autism

Autistic people may find it hard to make or keep friends. They often miss social cues or do not know how to join groups. Their struggles come from confusion, not from not caring.

• Autistic people may not look at eyes or seem shy.
• They like routines and feel nervous in new places.
• Their friendships are honest but can seem awkward.

Being patient and giving clear help lets autistic people learn social skills.

Narcissism

Narcissistic people have many friends, but these are not deep. They look for people who admire them, but do not make close bonds. Their main goal is to feel important.

• Narcissists stay with people who praise them.
• They drop friends fast if they do not get attention.
• Their social life is about being admired, not real connection.

When you ask, is it narcissism or autism, think about why someone has social problems. Narcissists want praise, but autistic people want to be understood.

Self-Image

Autism

People with autism often think well of themselves. They might say they have better traits than most people. This is different from others, who give more mixed answers.

For example, someone with autism may say they are very neat or never get nervous. Others might not agree with this view. Their strong self-image is not about wanting praise. It shows how they see themselves.

• People with autism often list good traits.
• Their self-image can be higher than people expect.
• They may not notice how their actions affect others.

If you wonder, is it narcissism or autism, remember autistic people’s self-image comes from their own view, not from wanting approval.

Narcissism

Narcissistic people see themselves in another way. Their self-image changes a lot and depends on others. They want people to admire them, so their confidence goes up and down.

Sometimes they act proud, but other times they seem unsure. They often make friends just to get praise. They may ignore others to protect their self-image. Unlike autistic people, narcissists know how their actions affect others but may not care.

• Narcissists need others to feel good about themselves.
• Their self-image is not steady and needs support.
• They may ignore others to keep feeling good.

Narcissistic self-image depends on praise from others, but autistic self-image comes from inside.

Repetitive Behaviors

Autism

People with autism often do things over and over. These actions help them feel safe and calm. They may follow strict routines or repeat movements. They might focus a lot on special interests.

For example, someone may eat the same food every day or talk about one topic for hours. These actions are not for attention. They help manage stress and let them learn about what they like.

• Routines help them feel safe.
• Special interests make them happy and teach them things.
• Repeating actions helps them handle feelings.

Narcissism

Narcissistic people can also have strict habits or focus on themselves. But their reason is different. They want others to notice or admire them. They may talk about their wins again and again. Their repeated actions are to get praise, not comfort.

• Rigid habits help them get admiration.
• Focusing on themselves helps them feel important.
• Their interests are about being the best.

When you ask, is it narcissism or autism, think about why someone repeats things. Autistic people want comfort, but narcissists want attention.

Age of Onset

Autism

Signs of autism usually show up early in life. Most kids are diagnosed between ages 1 and 4. Parents may see differences in talking or playing. Early signs help doctors give support sooner.

Narcissism

Narcissistic personality disorder starts later. You often see signs in older teens or adults. People may start needing praise or have changing self-image as they grow up. Doctors diagnose it after these patterns last for years.

Early signs mean autism, but narcissism shows up as people get older.

Self-Esteem

Autism

You may notice that people with autism often have self-esteem that changes based on their experiences. Many autistic people struggle with feeling different from others.

This can make you feel left out or misunderstood. You might find it hard to fit in at school or work. These challenges can lower your self-esteem.

Some people with autism focus on their strengths. You may feel proud of your special interests or skills. When you do well in these areas, your self-esteem can grow.

Sometimes, you might not notice what others think about you. This can help protect your self-esteem from negative comments.

If you wonder, is it narcissism or autism, look at how someone reacts to praise or criticism. Autistic people often care more about their own interests than about what others think.

Here are some signs of self-esteem in autism:

• You may feel confident about your favorite topics.
• You might not care much about fitting in with groups.
• You can feel upset if others do not understand you.

Narcissism

People with narcissism show a different pattern. You might see someone who acts very confident, but their self-esteem depends on what others say. If people praise you, you feel great. If people ignore you or criticize you, your self-esteem drops quickly.

Narcissistic self-esteem often looks strong on the outside. You may talk about your successes and want others to notice you. Deep down, you might feel unsure or empty. You need others to make you feel good about yourself.

Remember, people with narcissism often react strongly to criticism. They may get angry or blame others to protect their self-esteem.

If you ask, is it narcissism or autism, pay attention to what makes someone feel good or bad about themselves. Autistic people often care more about their own goals. Narcissistic people need others to boost their self-worth.

Is It Narcissism or Autism?

Signs in Children

Children with autism often play by themselves. They may not join group games or talk much. Sometimes, they repeat actions like lining up toys.

They may follow strict routines every day. These children can have trouble understanding jokes or sarcasm. They might not look at your face when you talk.

Children with narcissistic traits act in other ways. They want everyone to notice them. You may hear them brag about what they do. They often ask for praise from adults and other kids.

These children may not care about others’ feelings. They get upset if they lose or someone criticizes them. Sometimes, they use other kids to get what they want.

If you wonder, is it narcissism or autism, think about why the child acts this way. Autistic children want comfort and routine. Narcissistic children want to be admired and in control.

Quick Comparison Table

Signs in Adults

Adults with autism often find social rules hard to follow. They may have trouble with small talk or body language. Some speak in a flat voice or talk a lot about one thing. These adults want real friends but can seem awkward. They care a lot about fairness and justice.

Adults with narcissism act differently. They use charm to get attention from others. They talk about their wins and want people to admire them. These adults may not care about others’ feelings. They use social skills to impress or control people. Their friendships often feel shallow.

Here is a table to help you see the differences:

You can use this table to help decide if it is narcissism or autism when you see these signs in adults.

Practical Scenarios

It can be hard to tell autism and narcissism apart in real life. Here are some situations that can be confusing:

• Partners of autistic people may think their actions are narcissistic because they do not understand autism.
• Narcissistic people might say their hurtful actions are caused by autism, which makes it harder for others to heal from their behavior.
• Autistic adults usually care a lot about fairness, while narcissistic people often want control and can be mean.

Imagine you work with someone who does not join group talks. If this person seems honest and cares about fairness, it may be autism. If the person only talks about their own wins and ignores others, it may be narcissism.

Tip: Think about what drives the behavior. Autistic people want comfort and understanding. Narcissistic people want praise and control.

You can use these signs and examples to help you decide if it is narcissism or autism. Look at why someone acts a certain way, not just what they do.

Overlapping Traits

Shared Social Challenges

Both autism and narcissism can make social life tough. People with autism often do not get social hints. You might not know what others feel or want in a talk.

People with narcissistic personality disorder also have social trouble, but for other reasons. They usually do not think about other people’s feelings. This lack of caring makes it hard for them to have close friends.

Some social problems you might see in both are:

• Not understanding or showing empathy, which hurts emotional bonds.
• Having trouble seeing and reacting to others’ feelings.
• Doing things that push people away or make friendships hard.

These problems can cause mix-ups. Others may think you do not care, even if you want to connect.

Misinterpreted Behaviors

Sometimes, people do not understand actions from those with autism or narcissism. If you have autism, you might miss social hints because your brain works in a different way. This can make you seem selfish, even if you do not mean to.

Some actions that get misunderstood are:

• Missing social hints, which can look like you do not care.
• Having trouble with eye contact or not seeing body language, which may seem like you are not interested.
• Acting distant or quiet, especially when you feel stressed by noise or too much going on.

People with narcissism may act in ways that look the same, but their reasons are not the same. They may focus on their own needs, so they seem cold or uncaring.

When people see these actions, they may not know if it is autism or narcissism. This can make it hard for you to get the right help.

If someone seems distant or misses social hints, try to learn why before you judge.

Risk of Misdiagnosis

You might wonder how often doctors mix up autism and narcissism. Studies show this does not happen a lot. The chance of having both is low, between 0% and 6.4%. Most experts can tell the difference, but mistakes can still happen.

Getting the wrong diagnosis can cause problems for you. If someone thinks you have narcissism when you really have autism, you may not get the help you need.

The same thing can happen the other way around. That is why it is important to look at why you act a certain way, not just what you do.

• Doctors use special tests to tell them apart.
• You should talk to a mental health expert if you have questions about your diagnosis.
• Getting the right answer helps you find the best help and make better friends.

Remember, knowing why social problems happen can help you and others avoid mix-ups and get the right help.

Myths

Autism Myths

There are many myths about autism. These myths make it hard to know the real differences between autism and narcissism. Myths can confuse people and stop them from getting help.

• Some people say, “Everyone is a little autistic.” This is not true at all. Autism is a special condition with real problems. You cannot say that normal habits are the same as autism.
• Another myth says, “Autistic people are always narcissistic.” Studies show there is no link between autism and narcissism. These are two different things.
• Some people think, “People with autism do not have empathy.” Many autistic people care a lot about others. They may have trouble showing feelings or reading social clues, but they still care.

Autism is not a problem with your personality. It is a brain difference that changes how you see and talk to others.

Narcissism Myths

There are also myths about narcissism. These myths can make things confusing. Some people say, “Everyone is a little narcissistic.” This makes it sound like narcissism is normal or not a big deal. Real narcissistic personality disorder is much more serious.

• People sometimes think narcissistic and autistic actions are the same. But narcissism comes from wanting to feel better than others and get attention. Autism is about how the brain works, not about wanting to be better.
• Some say, “People with autism are narcissistic because they talk about themselves.” This is not true. When autistic people talk about their interests, it is because of social struggles, not to impress.
• Another myth says, “Autism and narcissism have the same reasons.” Narcissistic actions come from being self-centered. Autistic actions come from trouble with social rules.

If you see someone acting self-involved, ask if they want attention or if they have trouble with social clues.

Impact on Relationships

Myths about autism and narcissism can hurt friendships and family. If you believe these myths, you might not understand someone’s actions and react the wrong way.

• People with autism often have trouble talking with others and sharing feelings. They might miss social clues or find it hard to connect. This can make friendships and family life tough.
• People with narcissism often put themselves first. They may seem nice at first, but their self-centered ways can hurt relationships over time.
• Both groups can have trouble with empathy. Autistic people may not notice when you are sad. Narcissistic people may not care about your feelings at all.
• Social problems can look the same at first. Autistic people may seem distant because they do not get social rules. Narcissistic people may act distant because they want control or praise.

Knowing the real reasons for these actions helps you build better relationships. When you know the truth, you can help others and not judge them unfairly.

Diagnosis and Support

Diagnosis

It can be hard to get the right diagnosis. Both autism and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) make friendships tough. People with autism may seem self-focused because they have trouble talking with others.

People with NPD also seem self-focused, but they act this way because they feel better than others. Autism often comes with repeated actions, but NPD does not.

The reason for empathy problems is not the same. In autism, it is because of social struggles. In NPD, it is because of thinking only about themselves.

Only a trained doctor can tell if it is autism or NPD. Do not try to figure it out by yourself.

Doctors use special tests and questions to help find the right answer. Here is a table with some main tools:

You should always talk to a mental health expert. They know how to use these tests and ask good questions.

Support Strategies

If you or someone you know has autism, there are many ways to help. You can:

• Give rewards for good actions and ignore bad ones.
• Watch and copy social skills from others.
• Start early programs to help with talking and learning.
• Try therapies like applied behavior analysis, occupational therapy, speech therapy, and physical therapy.
• Use proven methods at home, school, or clinics. The National Clearinghouse on Autism Evidence & Practice lists 28 ways that work.

For NPD, help is different. You can:

• Set clear rules when you talk to someone with NPD.
• Take care of yourself and your feelings.
• Do not blame yourself for what they do or say.

“Experts say therapy is the best way to treat narcissistic personality disorder. Therapy helps people with NPD see their actions and how they affect others.”

Therapies like psychodynamic therapy, Transference-Focused Psychotherapy, and Mentalization-Based Treatment help people with NPD understand feelings and build better relationships.

Family and Friends

You are important in helping someone with autism or NPD. Here are some ways to help:

• Make a calm place by lowering loud sounds or bright lights.
• Keep a daily schedule with fun things to do.
• Stay close to friends and family who understand.
• Use digital tools to help talk with others.
• Make safe spaces by setting rules and taking breaks.
• Get help from a doctor for the right diagnosis and support.
• Be kind to people with NPD and ask experts for advice if needed.

You can also get help from:

• Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
• Social skills classes and family counseling.
• Support groups in your area or online to share and learn.
• Workshops that teach you helpful tips for daily life.

By making routines, using therapy, and finding support, you can help your loved one and yourself handle challenges better.

You can tell autism and narcissism apart by looking at their main traits. The table below helps you see how they are different:

Knowing these differences helps you have better friendships and give the right help. If you are not sure, talk to a doctor or counselor. Learning more makes you feel ready and helps you connect with others.

FAQ

What is the main difference between autism and narcissism?

The biggest difference is why people act the way they do. Autism changes how someone understands and reacts to social hints. Narcissism is about wanting others to admire you and feeling better than others. The reasons for their actions help you tell them apart.

Can someone have both autism and narcissism?

It is possible, but it does not happen often. Most people only have one of these. If you see signs of both, talk to a mental health expert to find out for sure.

How do I know if my child is autistic or narcissistic?

Look for certain habits. Autistic kids like routines and may have trouble with social hints. Narcissistic kids want lots of attention and praise. If you are not sure, ask a doctor for advice.

Do autistic people lack empathy?

Autistic people do care about others. They might not show empathy in the usual ways. Sometimes, they need help to understand how someone feels. You can help by explaining feelings clearly.

Can therapy help with both autism and narcissism?

Therapy can help with both conditions. For autism, therapy teaches social and talking skills. For narcissism, therapy helps people learn about feelings and make better friendships.

Why do people confuse autism with narcissism?

Some actions look the same, like having trouble with empathy or social skills. But the reasons for these actions are different. Autism is caused by brain differences. Narcissism comes from personality traits.

Is it possible to outgrow autism or narcissism?

Autism does not go away as you grow up. It lasts your whole life. Narcissistic traits can change with therapy and learning, but personality disorders usually last a long time.

What should I do if I suspect someone has autism or narcissism?

You should ask them to see a mental health expert. Only a trained person can give the right diagnosis and suggest the best help.