Autism and You: How to cope with the challenges

Look at this table to see how programs and support help parents feel less stress:

• Knowing what makes you upset helps you handle your feelings.
• Music can help you feel better when things are hard.

Autism and You can be a journey where you grow when you find what helps you most.

Key Takeaways

• Knowing your feelings helps you handle problems each day. Write in an emotion journal to find what bothers you and what happens often.
• Try calming tools like deep breathing, weighted blankets, or sensory bottles. These can help you control your feelings when things get too much.
• Make a quiet spot at home or school to get away from too many sounds or sights. Use headphones that block noise or use soft lights to feel better.
• Make choices by splitting them into small steps. Use charts or lists to make decisions easier.
• Set up routines that stay the same to lower worry. When you know what will happen each day, you can feel safer.
• Say what you need in a clear way. Use short phrases to ask for things, like a quiet place or help with work.
• Get help from family, friends, or groups in your area. Talking with others can make you feel better and understood.
• Remember to take care of yourself. Spending time alone helps you rest and be ready to help others.

Daily Challenges

Emotional Difficulties

You might notice that your feelings can change quickly. Sometimes, you feel calm, but then you get upset or frustrated. Many autistic people deal with strong emotions every day.

You may feel anxious, sad, or even angry when things do not go as planned. Research shows that irritability is common and can lead to behaviors like temper tantrums or refusing to follow directions. These reactions are not your fault. They happen because your brain processes things differently.

When you feel overwhelmed, try to pause and take a few deep breaths. This small step can help you calm down before things get too hard.

Positive responses from others make a big difference. If someone reacts with kindness and patience, you may find it easier to manage your feelings.

You can also help yourself by talking about your emotions or writing them down. Keeping an emotion journal helps you spot patterns and triggers. Over time, you will learn what helps you feel better.

Sensory Overload

Everyday places can feel too loud, bright, or crowded. Sensory overload happens when your senses get too much information at once.

For example, you might hear a buzzing light, smell strong perfume, or feel itchy clothes. These things can make you want to leave or shut down.

• Loud noises in stores or schools
• Bright lights or flashing screens
• Strong smells or scratchy fabrics

You are not alone in this. Many autistic people have sensory sensitivities. These challenges can make it hard to join in daily activities.

You can try using earplugs, sunglasses, or soft clothing to feel more comfortable. Find quiet spaces when you need a break. Let others know what bothers you, so they can help make things easier.

Social Stress

Social situations can feel confusing or stressful. You may struggle to understand jokes, body language, or tone of voice.

Making friends or joining conversations might seem hard. Sometimes, people do not understand your needs, which can make you feel left out.

It is okay to ask for help or to take a break from social situations.

Studies show that negative attitudes from others can make social and work life even harder. You might also feel anxious or sad because of these challenges.

Some people find it tough to get jobs that require lots of social skills. Try to focus on small steps, like saying hello or making eye contact.

Practice helps, and you will get better over time. If you feel stressed, talk to someone you trust. You deserve support and understanding.

Decision-Making

Making choices can feel tough when you have autism. You might worry about picking the wrong thing or feel stuck when you have too many options.

Sometimes, even small decisions like what to eat for breakfast or which shirt to wear can make you feel anxious. You may freeze up or avoid making choices altogether. That’s okay. You’re not alone in this.

Let’s talk about ways you can make decision-making easier every day. Here are some steps you can try:

1. Break Big Choices Into Small Steps
   If a decision feels overwhelming, split it into smaller parts. For example, if you need to get ready for school, start with picking your clothes, then move on to packing your bag, and finally, choose what to eat. Small steps help you feel less stressed.
2. Use Visual Supports
   Pictures, charts, or lists can help you see your options. You can make a simple chart with your choices and check off what you decide. Visual supports give you a clear path and make decisions less confusing.
3. Set Predictable Routines
   Routines help you know what to expect. If you follow the same steps each morning, you don’t have to decide every little thing. You can save your energy for bigger choices.
4. Practice With Low-Stress Decisions
   Try making choices when you feel calm. Pick what snack you want or which game to play. Practicing with easy decisions helps you build confidence for harder ones.
5. Ask for Help When You Need It
   If you feel stuck, talk to someone you trust. You can ask a parent, teacher, or friend to help you think through your options. It’s okay to get support.

Here’s a table with some tools that can help you with decision-making:

If you feel anxious about a decision, take a short break. Step away, breathe, and come back when you feel ready.

You can get better at making choices with practice. Try different tools and see what works best for you. Remember, every small step counts.

You have the power to make decisions that fit your needs. Keep going, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

Emotional Regulation

Triggers

Your feelings can change very fast. Small things may seem huge. Many autistic people feel emotions deeply. You might react strongly to things others think are small.

Some people worry about being rejected or criticized. This can make you feel anxious or hurt. Knowing your emotional triggers helps you get ready for hard times.

Here is a table that shows common emotional triggers for autistic individuals:

Keeping an emotion journal helps you spot triggers. Write what happened, how you felt, and what you did. Over time, you will notice patterns.

Visual supports like emotion charts or simple drawings help you understand your feelings. Use these tools after tough times to talk about what happened and what could help next time.

Try drawing stick figures to show how you felt before and after using a calming tool. This makes talking about feelings easier.

Calming Tools

When you feel upset, you need ways to calm down. Many autistic people use calming tools every day. These tools help you feel safe and in control.

Here are some experts suggest:

1. Deep Pressure Therapy (like weighted blankets or vests)
2. Sensory Bottles or Sensory Sticks
3. Calming Visual Tools (such as lava lamps or moving sand timers)
4. Breathing Exercises
5. Fidget Toys
6. Noise-Canceling Headphones
7. Safe Spaces
8. Social Stories
9. Routine and Predictability
10. Calming Music or White Noise

You can also try these self-soothing ideas:

• Make a quiet space with soft lights and less noise.
• Practice deep breathing or use a weighted item for comfort.
• Set up a calm corner with your favorite things.
• Try mindfulness or gentle exercise to relax.
• Use fidget spinners or stress balls to handle stress.
• Have a safe, quiet area to go when you feel overwhelmed.
• Do activities that give deep pressure, like hugging a pillow.

Some people avoid loud sounds or bright lights. Others move around or make noises to feel better. Your needs may change each day. That is okay. Try different tools and see what helps you most.

Practice these strategies at home and school. This helps you use them when you need them.

Resilience

Resilience means bouncing back after hard times. You can get stronger by finding safe places and talking about your feelings.

Many people join groups to set boundaries and leave uncomfortable situations. These groups let you practice social skills and share your story.

• Community activities help you build confidence and reach goals.
• Sharing your story with others who understand helps you feel less alone.
• Practicing boundaries, like saying “no” or leaving a talk, protects your feelings.
• Feeling in control of your choices helps you avoid burnout.

Some people, like Alice and Tiffany, say joining groups helped a lot. They learned to handle tough moments and felt proud when they did well. You can do this too. Autism and You is about finding what helps you feel safe and strong.

Talk with your family or caregivers about what makes you feel safe. Work together to make a plan for hard times.

Sensory Management

Managing your senses can make daily life easier. You might feel overwhelmed by loud sounds, bright lights, or strong smells.

When you learn how to control your environment, you can feel safer and calmer. Let’s look at some ways you can handle sensory challenges.

Quiet Areas

You need a place where you can relax when things get too noisy. Creating a quiet area helps you escape from overwhelming sounds and busy spaces.

Here are some steps you can try:

• Pick a spot at home or school that feels safe and peaceful.
• Add soft rugs, curtains, or foam panels to absorb sound.
• Close doors and windows to block outside noise.
• Use signs or symbols to show when the area is meant for quiet time.
• Limit loud appliances or machines nearby.

You can also use noise-canceling headphones or earplugs in your quiet zone. These tools help block out sudden or loud sounds.

If you feel stressed, go to your quiet area and take a break. You can control the space by turning off bright lights or asking others to keep voices low.

Make your quiet area cozy with pillows, blankets, or your favorite books. This helps you feel safe and calm.

Comfort Items

Comfort items can help you manage sensory overload. You might like using earplugs, sunglasses, or soft clothing. These items protect you from harsh sounds and bright lights.

Here are some ideas:

• Sunglasses or visors help you deal with bright or flashing lights.
• Noise-canceling headphones or earplugs block out loud noises.
• Soft clothes or weighted blankets give you comfort and deep pressure.
• Fidget toys or stress balls keep your hands busy and help you focus.

You can carry comfort items in your backpack or keep them in your quiet area. If you feel overwhelmed, use your comfort item to help you calm down. You might find that different items work better in different places. Try a few and see what helps you most.

You can ask your teacher or family to help you find comfort items that work for you.

Sensory Breaks

Taking sensory breaks is important when you start to feel overloaded. You can step away from busy places and spend time in a calming environment.

Here’s how you can use sensory breaks:

• Move to a quiet space when you feel overwhelmed.
• Turn off bright lights or close curtains to make the room softer.
• Try calming activities like listening to music, drawing, or gentle stretching.
• Use noise-canceling headphones if you need extra quiet.
• Ask for help if you need to leave a noisy or crowded area.

You can plan sensory breaks into your day. For example, take a break after school or before starting homework.

If you feel a shutdown coming, remove yourself from the situation and use your calming tools. Sensory-friendly spaces and breaks help you recharge and prevent meltdowns.

Sensory breaks are not just for emergencies. You can use them anytime you need to feel better.

Autism and You is about finding what works for your senses. You can try different strategies and tools until you discover what helps you most. Remember, you have the right to ask for quiet, comfort, and breaks whenever you need them.

Autism and You: Social Skills

Communication

You can improve your social skills by practicing clear communication. Many autistic people find workplace conversations tricky, but you can use simple strategies to make things easier.

Try these steps:

• Speak slowly and use short sentences.
• Avoid metaphors, idioms, or sarcasm. Use direct words.
• Give yourself extra time to respond. You do not need to rush.
• Ask for feedback if you are unsure about what someone means.
• Watch for body language and eye contact. These clues help you understand others.
• Role-play different social situations with a mentor or trusted friend.
• Use visual aids or social stories to prepare for meetings or group talks.

You can also ask for a mentor at work. A mentor helps you learn social cues and build relationships. If you feel overwhelmed, look for structured spaces with less noise and fewer distractions. This helps you focus on the conversation.

Practice active listening by nodding or repeating what you heard. This shows you care and helps you remember details.

Boundaries

Setting boundaries helps you feel safe and respected. You have the right to say what you need and to ask for help.

Research shows that learning self-advocacy skills early makes a big difference. You can start by expressing your needs clearly. For example, you might say, “I need a quiet space to work,” or “I prefer written instructions.”

You can also learn about your rights under laws like the ADA and IDEA. These laws protect you and give you the power to ask for accommodations.

When you understand your rights, you feel more confident. You can manage tough situations, like sensory overload, by speaking up.

Here is a simple table to help you remember ways to set boundaries:

You deserve respect. Advocating for yourself is a strength, not a weakness.

Masking

Masking means hiding your true feelings or behaviors to fit in. Many autistic people mask in social situations, especially at work or school.

You might pretend to understand jokes or force yourself to make eye contact. Studies show that masking can lead to stress, anxiety, and feeling tired. You may feel like you are acting all day, which can be exhausting.

Some people use masking to avoid being left out, but it can hurt your mental health over time. You might feel anxious or sad because you cannot be yourself. It is okay to take breaks from masking. Find safe spaces where you can relax and act naturally.

• Masking can cause anxiety and stress.
• You may feel tired or confused after masking for a long time.
• Camouflaging helps you fit in but may lead to long-term emotional exhaustion.

 You do not have to mask all the time. Autism and You is about finding balance and being true to yourself.

Routines and Decision-Making

Visual Supports

Visual supports can make your day much easier. You might feel less anxious when you know what comes next. Try using visual schedules, charts, or picture cards to show your daily routine.

These tools help you see each step, so you don’t have to remember everything at once. You can use photos, drawings, or symbols—whatever works best for you.

• Visual schedules give you a clear outline of your day. You can check off each activity as you finish it.
• Picture cards help you make choices, like what snack to eat or which game to play.
• Charts can show you the order of tasks, such as getting dressed, brushing your teeth, and packing your bag.

Visual supports do more than just organize your day. They help you communicate your needs and preferences.

If you feel unsure about what to do next, just look at your schedule. You can also use these tools to talk with your family or teachers about changes or choices.

Try making your own visual schedule with stickers or drawings. This makes it fun and personal.

Using visual supports can help you feel more independent and confident. You might notice that you need less help from others because you can follow your routine on your own.

Predictable Rituals

Predictable rituals are daily habits that help you feel safe and calm. When you follow the same steps each morning or evening, you know what to expect. This sense of order can lower your stress and make transitions easier.

Here’s a table that shows how routines help with stress management:

You can start with simple rituals, like having breakfast at the same time or reading before bed. These patterns help you feel in control. If you use visual supports, you can add them to your rituals for extra clarity.

Flexibility

Life doesn’t always go as planned. Sometimes, things change at the last minute. Practicing flexibility helps you handle these surprises without feeling overwhelmed. You can build this skill step by step.

Here are some ways to practice flexibility:

1. Change the order of your routine once in a while. For example, brush your teeth before getting dressed instead of after.
2. Move things around in your room or try a new seat at the table. Small changes help you get used to new situations.
3. Prepare for surprises by talking about what might happen if plans change. You can role-play or use stories to practice.
4. Use visual supports to show changes in your schedule. This helps you see what’s different and what stays the same.
5. Reward yourself when you handle a change well. Celebrate your progress!

You can also ask someone you trust to model flexible behavior. Watch how they handle changes and try to copy their actions. If you feel anxious, talk about it. Knowing why something changed can make it easier to accept.

Combining routines, visual supports, and positive reinforcement can help you become more flexible over time.

Autism and You is about finding the balance between structure and flexibility. You can enjoy the comfort of routines while learning to handle changes with confidence.

Autism and You: Routines

Routines can help you feel safe and confident every day. When you know what comes next, you can relax and focus better.

Building routines does not have to be hard. You can start small and add more steps as you get comfortable.

Here’s how you can create routines that work for you:

1. Pick a Time and Place
   Choose a part of your day that feels stressful or confusing. Maybe mornings are tough, or you struggle after school. Start with one routine for that time.
2. List the Steps
   Write down each thing you need to do. Use short words or draw pictures. For example, a morning routine might look like this:
   • Wake up
   • Brush teeth
   • Get dressed
   • Eat breakfast
   • Pack your bag
3. Use Visual Reminders
   Hang your list on the wall or keep it in your backpack. You can use sticky notes, drawings, or even a phone app. Seeing your routine helps you remember each step.
4. Practice Every Day
   Try to follow your routine at the same time each day. If you forget a step, that’s okay. You can check your list and try again tomorrow.
5. Adjust When Needed
   Sometimes, things change. Maybe you have a doctor’s appointment or a school event. You can add or remove steps for those days. Flexibility is part of Autism and You.

Celebrate when you finish your routine! Give yourself a high five, a sticker, or a few minutes of your favorite activity.

You might want to share your routine with family or teachers. They can help you remember steps and cheer you on. If you feel stuck, ask for help. You do not have to do it alone.

Here’s a simple table to help you plan your routine:

Routines are not just about doing things the same way. They help you feel calm and ready for new challenges.

Over time, you will find routines that fit your life best. Remember, Autism and You is about finding what works for you and making each day a little easier.

Support Networks

Family and Friends

You can count on family and friends when things are hard. Having strong bonds helps you feel safe and welcome.

If you talk to people who care, you may feel more sure of yourself. You can tell them how you feel, talk about your day, or just hang out. Joining a support group or meeting other autistic people can help you feel less alone.

• Meeting other autistic people helps you feel included.
• Online forums and groups let you share and learn new things.
• Being part of a group can help you feel better about yourself and like you belong.
• Autism groups help you make friends and feel happier.

If you want to make your support network stronger, try these ideas:

1. Ask a family member to do something fun with you.
2. Send a message to a friend if you want to talk.
3. Find local or online groups where you can meet people like you.

You do not have to handle problems by yourself. Telling your story can help others, too.

Professional Help

Sometimes, you need help from trained people. Therapists, counselors, and autism groups can give you tips and tools for daily life.

You can talk to a therapist to learn about your feelings and how to deal with them. Mindfulness, like deep breathing or meditation, helps you stay calm when you feel worried.

• Therapists show you ways to notice and handle your feelings.
• Mindfulness helps you relax and feel more in control.
• Routines make life more predictable and lower stress.

Here are some ways professionals can help:

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps with anxiety, depression, and PTSD.
2. Counselors give you support and help you feel stronger.

You can ask your doctor or school counselor for ideas. Autism groups often have lists of good professionals. If you feel stressed, asking for help is a smart choice.

Getting emotional support lets you share your feelings. This can help you feel less stressed and happier.

Community Resources

There are many helpful things in your community. Peer mentoring and autistic-led groups give you support, especially in college.

These groups help you meet people and learn new skills. If you are a caregiver, respite care gives you a break and helps you rest.

Not everyone gets the help they need. About 40% of preschool kids with autism do not get community support.

If you join Home and Community-Based Services (HCBS), you may see big changes in health and growth, especially if your family has money problems.

Community resources can help a lot. Do not be afraid to ask for help or try new programs near you.

Parent Self-Care

Caring for an autistic child takes a lot of energy. You might feel tired, stressed, or even overwhelmed some days.

You want to give your best, but you also need to look after yourself. Self-care is not selfish—it helps you stay strong for your child and your family.

You can start by checking in with yourself each day. Ask, “How am I feeling right now?” If you notice stress or exhaustion, take a moment to breathe. Even a short break can help you reset. Try these simple self-care steps:

• Take five minutes to sit quietly and breathe.
• Go for a short walk outside.
• Listen to your favorite music.
• Write down your thoughts in a journal.
• Drink a glass of water and stretch your arms.

You might think you do not have time for self-care. You do not need hours. Small actions add up. If you feel guilty about taking time for yourself, remember that you cannot pour from an empty cup. Your well-being matters.

Schedule your self-care like any other appointment. Put it on your calendar and treat it as important.

Sometimes, you need extra support. You can ask family members or friends to help with childcare. Respite care gives you a break, even if it is just for an afternoon.

You can use this time to rest, read, or do something you enjoy. Many communities offer respite programs for parents of autistic children.

Here is a table with self-care ideas and how they help:

You can also connect with other parents. Support groups let you share stories, ask questions, and learn new tips.

You might find online forums or local meetups. Talking to others who understand your journey can make you feel less alone.

If you feel overwhelmed, reach out to a counselor or therapist. They can help you manage stress and find new coping skills. You deserve support, too.

Remember, self-care is a key part of your family’s well-being. When you take care of yourself, you show your child how to value their own health. You are doing your best, and that is enough. Give yourself credit for every small step you take.

There are many ways you can deal with autism challenges every day. You can use mindfulness, routines, and sensory tools to help yourself. Family and community support can help you learn new skills and feel more independent.
Here’s a simple table that shows what helps most:

Self-advocacy and resilience let you speak up for yourself and get stronger. You can try different ideas and ask others for help. Each small step you take helps you feel happier and more independent.

FAQ

How can you handle meltdowns in public?

Stay calm and find a quiet spot. Use your calming tools, like headphones or a favorite item. Let others know you need space. Take deep breaths. You can leave the area if you need to.

What should you do if routines change suddenly?

Look at your visual schedule. Ask someone to explain the change. Take a short break if you feel upset. Try to focus on what stays the same. Reward yourself for handling the change.

How do you ask for help when you feel overwhelmed?

Use simple words or a help card. Say, “I need a break,” or show your support person your card. You can also text or write a note if talking feels hard.

What are some easy ways to make friends?

Start with a smile or a hello. Join a club or group that interests you. Ask questions about things you both like. Practice listening and sharing. Remember, it’s okay to take small steps.

How can you manage sensory overload at school?

Keep comfort items in your backpack. Use earplugs or headphones during loud times. Ask your teacher for a quiet space. Take sensory breaks when you need them. Let adults know what helps you feel better.

Where can you find support if you feel alone?

Talk to family or friends. Join an autism support group online or in your community. Ask your school counselor for resources. You can also find helpful websites and forums for autistic people