What Is Internalized Ableism in Autism

Internalized ableism in autism means you start to believe negative messages about yourself because of how others see autism.

You might feel self-doubt, low self-esteem, or try to hide your differences. These feelings can hurt your mental health.

• You may notice more anxiety or depression.
• You might feel like you are a burden, so you avoid asking for help.
• You can feel powerless or think you are less worthy.

Learning about this helps you understand your feelings and take steps toward self-acceptance.

Key Takeaways

• Internalized ableism can make you doubt yourself and feel bad. Noticing these feelings is the first step to accepting yourself.
• Hiding autistic traits to fit in can hurt your mental health over time. Being yourself is important for your happiness.
• Joining neurodivergent support groups can help you not feel alone. Talking with others helps you feel accepted and understood.
• Getting help from a professional, like a therapist, can help with negative thoughts. Therapists can show you ways to cope.
• Having a strong support group is very important. Friends and allies can help you fight stigma and feel good about being autistic.

Internalized Ableism in Autism

What It Means

Internalized ableism in autism can change how you think about yourself. This happens when you start to believe bad things about being autistic because of what people say or do.

You might feel like you are not good enough. You could feel embarrassed about your differences. Advocacy groups say this can lead to harsh thoughts about yourself. You might call yourself lazy or weak, even though that is not true.

• Internalized ableism in autism can make you hide who you are. You might try to act like others so you do not stand out. You may feel bad about being autistic, which makes it hard to like yourself. These feelings can start when you are young, especially if people treat you badly.

Some people do not understand masking. They think it is just acting normal. For autistic people, masking helps them feel safe and avoid being picked on.

Internalized ableism in autism can also make you turn down help. You might think you do not deserve support. You may worry about what others will say. This can make it harder to accept yourself.

Why It Happens

Society often says negative things about autism. You might hear that autism is a problem or needs to be fixed. These ideas can cause stigma from others and from yourself.

Public stigma can look like being left out or treated unfairly. When you believe these things, you might feel bad about who you are.

Some autism research only talks about what autistic people cannot do. This can create wrong ideas and stereotypes. You might hear mean words or see people treat autism as something bad. These thoughts can stay with you and change how you see yourself.

• Many autistic people feel bad about themselves because of being left out. You might feel alone if you do not see people like you in the media. If you are in a minority group, you may have more problems. For example, BIPOC autistic people may not get diagnosed or helped. You might feel you have to hide your traits to stay safe.

Parents sometimes do not know how to handle ableism. Some may try to hide your autism to fit in. This can make you feel like you need to hide, too.

Culture matters, too. In some places, families hide an autism diagnosis because they fear what others think. This can stop you from getting help and make you feel alone. Your experience with internalized ableism in autism can change based on your culture, race, or gender.

You are not the only one who feels this way. Many people go through this. Knowing where these feelings come from is the first step to feeling better about yourself.

Signs and Effects

Self-Doubt and Shame

Self-doubt and shame are often the first signs. You might not see positive stories about autistic people. This can make you feel bad about your differences.

You may wonder if something is wrong with you. Others might say your traits are “too much” or “overly sensitive.” This can make you feel alone and unsure about who you are.

Many autistic people say stigma causes embarrassment and low self-worth. You might start to think you are not good enough. You may feel like you should hide who you are. These feelings can hurt your self-esteem and even cause trauma. Without help, it is hard to stop these negative thoughts.

Not seeing stories you relate to can make you feel alone. It can be hard to find people who understand you. This can make your self-doubt worse.

Here are some signs you might notice:

• You do not like yourself and think autism is a defect.
• You join activities you do not enjoy because you think you have to.
• You wish you did not have autism.
• You never ask for help or support.
• You focus on what you cannot do, not your strengths.
• People treat autism as a problem, and you start to agree.
• You compare yourself to others and feel you are not as good.

Masking and Hiding Differences

Masking means hiding your autistic traits to fit in. You might copy how others act, talk, or move. Many autistic people mask to avoid being judged or left out. This often happens because of internalized ableism in autism.

Masking is common for autistic people. You might feel pressure to hide your true self. This can make it hard to know who you really are.

Masking for a long time can make you tired or unhappy. Some people say they lose touch with themselves. You might feel sad because you cannot be yourself. Masking can also make it hard to get a diagnosis or the right help.

• Masking can cause long-term mental health problems.
• You may feel tired and unhappy from pretending.
• Some people feel hopeless or have thoughts of self-harm.
• You might lose your sense of self and feel sad about it.
• Hiding healthy coping skills, like stimming, can make things worse.

Studies show masking is linked to more social anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems.

Impact on Mental Health

Internalized ableism in autism can hurt your mental health. If you believe negative things about yourself, you may feel anxious or sad. Research shows this can lower your well-being.

You might notice:

• More anxiety in social situations.
• Feeling sad or hopeless.
• Trouble sleeping or changes in eating.
• Not enjoying things you used to like.

Many autistic people say hiding their true selves and feeling ashamed leads to long-term mental health struggles. Without help, these feelings can get worse and harder to handle.

It can be hard to notice internalized ableism in yourself. Society often treats autistic people unfairly. Misunderstandings can make you feel even more alone.

If you do not see positive stories about autism, it is harder to accept yourself. This can make you feel disconnected from who you are and raise your risk for mental health problems.

Overcoming Internalized Ableism

Embracing Autistic Identity

You can fight negative beliefs by accepting your autistic identity. Many people join neurodivergent groups for support. Being with others who understand you helps you feel less alone.

You can share your experiences and feel accepted. Drawing or writing lets you show your true feelings. These activities help you learn about yourself. Using positive words about autism helps you see your strengths.

• Find neurodivergent groups to get support and feel included.
• Try creative things like drawing or writing to share feelings.
• Use words that show your strengths and special traits.

Thinking positively about being autistic makes you stronger. When you see autism as a normal way to be, you may feel less anxious or sad.

Building Support Networks

Getting help from others is important. Peer-led groups and mentors give you a safe place to talk. You can learn new ways to solve problems. These groups teach you how to stand up for yourself. They help you feel noticed and important.

Online groups and social media are helpful too. Many autistic people find good stories and role models online. You can meet others, share your story, and know you are not alone.

Seeking Help

Professional help can guide you through hard feelings. Therapists who know about autism can help you feel better about yourself.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) teaches you how to handle stress and bad thoughts. Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps you learn about yourself and heal. Neurodivergent-affirming practices help you value your special traits.

Therapy that focuses on self-acceptance can make life better and help you deal with stress.

You can also use tools like changing negative thoughts, mindfulness, and positive affirmations. These help you challenge bad thoughts and feel more confident.

Moving Forward

Self-Acceptance

You can begin by accepting yourself as autistic. Self-acceptance makes you feel happier and more sure of yourself. When you meet other autistic people, you feel like you belong.

You see that your story matters. You can find out what makes you special, like your favorite sounds or hobbies. These things can make you feel better.

• Joining the autistic community helps you feel like you belong.
• Finding joy in being autistic makes you happier.
• Seeing others accept themselves helps you feel real.

Negative thoughts may go away when you hear good stories. You learn that autism is a real part of you. You can change old ideas and think new, good ones. Many people say,

Hello, internalized ableism. I do not miss you and I do not like you at all.
Hello, internalized ableism. You seem to like staying in my mind, but I want you to leave for good.

Community Connection

Making strong friendships helps you fight stigma. When you join autistic groups, you get support and friends. These friendships help your mental health and make you feel less lonely. Allies can help by listening and respecting your story.

• Being part of a community gives you support and belonging.
• Friends help you deal with stigma and hiding your traits.
• Allies should help autistic voices be heard and make places open to all.

Advocacy is important too. You can join groups that teach acceptance and fight stereotypes. Here are some ways to lower stigma:

You might see campaigns like#RedInstead and Autism Acceptance Month. These focus on including everyone and self-advocacy. You can change your own ideas, respect others, and help make places welcoming.

Understanding internalized ableism in autism helps you know your feelings. It can help you start to heal. You can fight negative thoughts by joining groups that support you.

Practicing self-acceptance is important. Experts say you should set goals you can reach. They also say you should accept your identity. Building a strong support system helps a lot.

• Research does not always include autistic voices. It sometimes uses ableist words.
• Meeting others helps you feel important. It helps you feel less lonely.

You should feel proud of your autistic identity. Ask for help when you need it.

FAQ

What does internalized ableism feel like?

You may feel ashamed or embarrassed about being autistic. You might think you are not good enough. You could try to hide your traits. These feelings can make you feel alone or sad.

Can you stop internalized ableism?

Yes, you can. You can learn to accept yourself. You can join support groups. You can talk to others who understand. Therapy can help you change negative thoughts.

Why do autistic people mask their traits?

You might mask to fit in or avoid being bullied. You may want to feel safe. Sometimes, you want to make others comfortable. Masking can help you in some situations, but it can also feel exhausting.

How can friends and family help?

Friends and family can listen to you. They can respect your needs. They can use positive words about autism. They can help you find support. They can remind you that you matter.